Success

Motivation & Inspiration for February 2016

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View the full newsletter as PDF here.

Time Flies
So we are one month into 2016, it goes so fast doesn’t it. It only feels like 5 minutes since we were setting our intentions and considering what this clean slate, New Year will hold.  How are those resolutions going? Time can go so quick it’s easy to get side tracked with the busyness of daily life and forget about our goals and dreams (until the next New Year comes around). Life can happen whilst we’re busy making other plans, but only if we let it.

Check out my video blog to help keep us on track and ensure we’re always taking steps to create a life we love despite the busyness of daily life. It’s hard to believe that my six months in England has passed in the blink of an eye. I had a lovely time with family and friends and even managed to see some snow before leaving. I am now back in my resident New Zealand and enjoying catching up on all the things I missed. Best wishes for a fabulous February! Jess

Recent Inspiration
NEW! 5 things you can do to make life better [read full blog here]
Life is our greatest teacher [read full blog here]
Video blog: Equanimity: How to stay sane in a crazy world [click to view]
If you’ve not picked up a copy of the book yet, click here to find paperback and e-book versions

Info & Events
Thanks to all those who came out to support the launch of the book last month. For anyone who missed the events. A special online launch was recorded and can be viewed here. I was recently interviewed by BBC radio on the journey that lead to me writing the book, for those who missed it listen again here.

Happy New Year: What's your goal for 2016?

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NEw Year1

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book cover final

View the full newsletter as a PDF by clicking here; Newsletter January 2016

I have been reflecting on my first year in business, as we tend to do at this time of year. This time a year ago I was teaching myself how to build a website and writing my first blog. I’ve achieved a lot since then but it’s easy to forget.

There’s still part of me that looks at the success of those who’ve been before and I think; why don’t I have thousands of followers or media appearances yet! We often feel we should be further along than we are. It stops us realising how far we’ve come and celebrating the successes along the way.

We are often left thinking, why can’t tomorrow be today! The impatience of wanting it all now and feeling we should be more successful than we are. I am often reminding myself it’s not an overnight thing. It’s important that we celebrate small successes along the way and appreciate the journey. Remember your successes from 2015 and have a great start to 2016.

Recent Inspiration

Meaning and Purpose: Call off the search [read blog here]
Redefining success based on what matters [read blog here]
Video blog; 10 ways to make 2016 great [click to view]
Tis the season to be grateful, guest blog [read]
Video blog: Celebrating Success [click to view]
If you’ve not yet accessed the free resource on making 2016 great [click here]

Book Launch Info & Events
View the official book trailer here and find out how you can support the launch [click here]. There are a series of events to celebrate the launch of my first book, including an online event on launch day accessible all over the world.

Tuesday 5th January 2016 - Latest Music Bar, Brighton, UK
Wednesday 6th January 2016 - Launch Day Event - ONLINE
Tuesday 12th January 2016 - Bottesford Library, Leicestershire
Thursday 14th January 2016 - Guildhall, Grantham, UK Download the event flyer
Support the launch with a thunderclap here #RoughGuideSmoothLife  

The Power of Intentions

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The power of intentions
I’ve been reviewing 2015 and having a look at my goals list that I set at the beginning of this year. At that time I was still writing my book and one of my goals was to give a copy to my parents for Christmas 2015.

As the year has gone on and the publishing process has evolved it was clear the book would not be ready in time. The publishers advised a launch date in the New Year and the final approvals were only just complete a few days before Christmas. As I took the train up to my Mum and Dads on Christmas Eve I was surprised to find on my arrival 150 copies of my book delivered to the door. It had been printed and was ready for distribution prior to Christmas.

So this is a picture of me (a little weary following a massively delayed train trip to my parents’) on Christmas Eve holding my book in my hand for the first time.  I also got to share the experience with my parents and what’s more they got a copy of the book for Christmas after all.

When we set our goals at the beginning of the year we are setting an intention which providing we continue to focus on it and work towards it over the year just may materialise as we planned. Wishing you all the best for the New Year. 

If you’d like help setting your goals for 2016 or reviewing those of 2015 my 2 recent short video blogs may help; see them on my YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt9EbBAOAuh3J2MkJo9m1sg


The book, A Rough Guide to a Smooth Life is out now and available from the likes of Amazon etc.  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rough-Guide-Smooth-Life-Living/dp/1504343816/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1450794349&sr=8-1&keywords=a+rough+guide+to+a+smooth+life


I am also trying to raise awareness through this Thunderclap and grateful for any support over the next few days; https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/36036-a-rough-guide-to-a-smooth-life

A Rough Guide to a Smooth Life

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Capture

As we approach the end of the year the last 12 months I've spent trying to get my book published finally pays off and it is now available to buy! You can click on the link to view the official trailer.  Full details are here; www.inspireyourlife.org/book

A practical self improvement guide on surviving modern life. Rediscover the art of happiness, find meaning and purpose and create a life you love. 

Jess uncovers the key to creating a happier life and leads by example. Her perspective shines a bright light at a much needed time. Let her guide you this book will help. Shannon Kaiser, Coach & Best Selling Author of Find your Happy & Adventures for your Soul.

For those who read the book, please leave a review on Amazon and I'd love to hear your thoughts.  You can use the hashtag #RoughGuideSmoothLife when posting about the book.

To see how you can get involved and help support the launch click the link; How you can help or click here to support the launch through thunderclap.

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year.  Don't forget to check out the new resources section on the website for free stuff I've posted for you. Keep an eye out for events and give aways as I launch the book officially in the New Year. All the best for 2016.

Jess :-)

Meaning and purpose; call off the search

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It’s one of the biggest questions we ask ourselves; what is the meaning of life? And why am I here, what is my purpose? Finding meaning and purpose in life is critical to our happiness but sometimes the pursuit can take us further away from the goal. Without it life can feel dull, we struggle to see the point and it leaves us feeling empty and lost. I spent many years searching for meaning and purpose in my jobs, relationships and places I lived and each time that didn’t work I’d move on the next one hoping that my meaning and purpose would be just around the corner and my life would transform.

Recently I’ve learned that meaning and purpose can mean many different things and in my case the search was in fact taking me further away from the goal. Through this journey my life did transform but not in the way I’d imagined. I found my meaning and purpose in the everyday things in my life, that things that mattered and as my perspective shifted I realised it had been there all along, within yet I’d been so busy searching for it outside of myself that I’d not really noticed. I was waiting for this epiphany of the soul to come and sweep me off my feet and take me to a place where I fitted in and everything worked out for me!

I’ve seen and heard a few different takes on this from experts in the field. Some talk about finding our passion and having our world set alight, whilst others argue not everybody knows what their purpose is and that we shouldn’t feel the need to have one. This in itself can lead to us spending a life time searching for this elusive something that inevitably takes us away from living our lives. Yes there are some who’ve known right from when they were young children what they want to do with their lives. There are some who have a passion that makes their heart sing, that absorbs 100% of their concentration and brings infinite joy into their lives.

Many artists speak about this and the feeling their art gives them when they are in flow. But then there are some who seem to have a void, a gap, a nothingness where this meaning and purpose should be. Perhaps they’ve spent their whole life searching for it and are desperate to bring passion into their life but how if you’re not sure where that passion comes from? Many will argue that there’s passion in all of us it’s just finding something to ignite the spark but then as we occupy ourselves in this search our life passes us by.

Some people never do find that spark and the one big thing they are ‘meant to do with their lives’. I’d like to suggest that meaning and purpose is vital to our happiness and that it is something that everyone needs but it is not something we should need to search for. It is not always this big extraordinary amazing thing that lights up our life, it can be a lot more subtle and show up in the smallest of things.

I recently read some research about the deterioration of the elderly when they move into a nursing home and lose their independence. Researchers found that if some of these elderly people were given the responsibility of a plant to look after, this slowed their deterioration down. The conclusion was that by having a sense of purpose and bringing back some independence contributed to an improvement in their health and wellbeing. But it’s something so small and so often we believe meaning and purpose to big this big all encompassing ‘life’s work’.

I believe we find meaning and purpose in our everyday lives; it’s when we have our first child and become a parent, when we help an elderly neighbour. It’s when we share our knowledge or skills with others. It’s when we play sport alongside our team members, or take care of a sick pet. Meaning and purpose can be providing for our family, exploring new places, growing our own food or simply just clearing litter from the road. When our actions match our values and beliefs we find peace of mind, this is finding meaning and purpose in our lives.

I like to travel, I am a nomad, I enjoy writing and I enjoy many other things. Sometimes I can get absorbed in what I do and much of what I do brings me joy but this is more about how I do it rather than what I do. This applies to if I’m writing a book, an email to my mum or a letter to the bank! What makes my heart sing and what brings meaning and purpose into my life is the way I live it; the people I help, the personal values I am able to uphold and the amount of times I make myself smile throughout the day.

Life is for living and that in itself is meaning and purpose, how we live our life! We only get one shot so rather than spend it pursuing, searching and wondering. Remember that it’s the journey not the destination and it’s more about how we do it rather than what we do. We all have meaning and purpose and we don’t need to go on a massive pursuit in search of it. It is already here in our lives, in the everyday moments of joy, the things that mean something to us, that we cherish, that are important. The meaning of life is simple; to live it. Our purpose is to live it the best way we know how.

October's Newsletter, New Blogs & Forthcoming Events

See this month’s newsletter for details of forthcoming events and new material.  Including; video blog on creating a life you love and new blogs Newsletter October.

New blog out today: Taking the rough with the smooth; sh*t sandwiches!

When someone stands in front of us and speaks of inspiration or has written a book, we tend to think they’ve got it all sussed out and their life must be idyllic. This is certainty true of my thoughts about those I look up to. But there is a human element in us all, no-one has a perfect life.

Tough times come to everyone and often those who inspire us have had to overcome their own struggles to get there and if they can, so can we. 

Read the full blog here:http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/10/shit-sandwiches-the-rough-smooth-of-life/

I was also fortunate to speak to the group Action for Happiness recently about Creating a Life you Love. 

For those who missed it I blogged on the key points on my You Tube channel; [click here to watch the video] 

Don't wait for Happiness & other new posts

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Do you ever feel like life is just passing us by? Do you sometimes feel like life is happening whilst we’re busy making plans? 

Life's too short to postpone happiness until conditions are right; maybe when we retire, win lotto, meet Mr Right. 

Read the latest article I've published on elephant journal; Happiness - Why Wait?http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/09/happiness-why-wait/

Other articles of mine recently published include:

How to be at Peace with Uncertainty, published on havingtime.com http://www.havingtime.com/how-to-be-at-peace-with-uncertainty/

The Art of Self Care published on personalgrowth.com https://www.personalgrowth.com/the-art-of-self-care/

Mind your own busyness

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busy

The importance of slowing down in a world where busy has become the new black.

In terms of the evolution of man, the measurement of time has not been around very long, but it has become one of the most precious commodities of our age. We never seem to have enough of it.  Everyone is always so busy and, in the age of multitasking, being busy is seen as a must but at what cost?

In today’s world we are driven by the need to succeed, to prove our self-worth. If we’re not busy, we’re not successful. We like to feel valued, and the busier we are, the more valuable we become…or at least that’s how it feels.

Whilst we’re busy being busy, we risk missing out on life and the things that really matter.

See the full article published on elephant journal:

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/08/busy-is-the-new-black/.

Stop trying to fit in when you were born to stand out

This new article was just published on Tiny Buddha; the importance of being yourself in a world that wants you to be something else.

Read the full article by following the link below.

Stop trying to fit in when you were born to stand out!

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/stop-trying-to-fit-in-and-start-embracing-your-true-self  

The Power of Positive Thinking

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Check out the latest video blog a short 7 minute clip on the power of positive thinking. 

How to harness the power of the mind and use positive thinking to make us healthier and happier": http://youtu.be/nZEY87lVHsM

Optimists have a 50% lower risk of death (Mayo Clinic Study) “Human beings can alter their lives by altering their minds” William James.

We can’t always control what happens but we can control how we react to it. Happiness is a state of mind. Positive minds attract positive experience and the reverse is true. The happiness in our lives depends on the quality of our thoughts.

How to make changes to create a life you love

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“Change is not something we should fear. Rather it is something that we should welcome. For without change nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom, and no one in this world would ever more forward to become the person they’re meant to be”. BKS Iyengar

I recently published my story about leaving a job in the corporate world to pursue my dreams and I noticed from the responses that it resonated with so many people. People who, like me, were stuck in jobs or lives that made them unhappy but were not sure what they could do about it.   So in this blog I’ll answer the question I was asked repeatedly; how do you go about creating a life you love?It wasn’t an overnight success for me, nor was it an easy road. It was a decision I agonised over for years and at times it was too hard and the fear too great that even when opportunities presented themselves it sent me running back to what I knew, the familiar routine. But as Einstein said “Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results”The bottom line is we need to learn to change what we don’t like or love what we can’t change. Taking a risk, head first into the unknown is scary but also liberating, it leads to us questioning ourselves and finding excuses not to take the harder route and to stay put. “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t” but rather than asking what we’re walking away from we should ask what we’re walking towards.What stops us?Change always seems so hard and for that reason we put it off for as long as we can and in doing this we are also postponing our happiness. We all have a choice in life and if we’re not living the life we want or we’re unhappy then we have the remote control, we can change the channel, but it may not be easy. As Seneca said; “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”It is natural to experience fear as everyone who has done this has felt the same. We think; what if we can’t do it, we might fail, it’ll be hard, what will people think? We also have limiting beliefs that can hold us back: I’m not good enough, I haven’t got enough (money, skills, experience).Because it is hard we can find it so easy to procrastinate, they’ll always be an excuse, a barrier or a better time. We’re all guilty of playing it safe for fear of losing what we have, there is this perceived security which keeps us clinging on. We perceive security in our pay checks, the things we’re used to the status quo, even if these things do not make us happy. One of the main reasons people won’t leave jobs they hate is because they need the paycheck to pay the bills.Security comes in many other forms than financial and there are other ways to pay the bills, don’t let the perceived ‘security’ be an excuse for not taking action and taking a step out into the unknown. After all what is secure these days, jobs, money and relationships seem to come and go and are no longer the dependable stable foundations in our life we’d like them to be.So once we’ve dealt with our fears and our limiting beliefs the next question is how do we make it happen?Make it happenFor some we know what we want to do we’re just not sure how to make our dreams reality but for others it may just be that we know we’re unhappy where we are, we’re not sure where we’d rather be though. You don’t need all the answers, you don’t have to plan every detail, You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going, as long as you’re pointing in the right direction.If you need some clarity about what you’d rather be doing begin by writing down what you enjoy and what you’re good at, compare these lists, ask friends and colleagues for their input. Get to know who you really are and what you value. Write down everything you’d do if there were no limits (money, people, self believe etc). Consider how you’d like to be remembered or what is it about others that you admire most?Contemplate what limiting beliefs are holding you back and let go of these. Have courage and confidence that you’re capable and that anything is possible.Once you know what you want start by making a 1 year plan. Set goals about where you want to be and when, be specific about what you’ll be doing a year from now, how much will you earn, how many customers will have you, what hours will you work. It helps by visualising this and writing it down be clear about what you want but also sets your intention and makes it more real. It seems such a big and daunting task at first but nothing is ever too big, it can all be broken down into smaller bits.Then put that plan into action. Benjamin Disraeli said “Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” Start today, this may be updating your CV, registering with an agency, booking an online course or researching your new career path. There may be some voluntary opportunities to help you get new experience on your CV. If money is an issue sit down and work out a budget, see the bank and see if they can help temporarily as you work through things.It doesn’t have to be a sudden change from one to another, sometimes there is a transition, maybe you work part time in your current job until you’ve qualified, gain experience or built up work in your new field? Seek out like minded supportive people who’ll help encourage you along the way, widening your network in this way may also lead to opportunities.I always believe that opportunities will present themselves if we are open to them and in the right mindset, being open and thinking positive is also key to making the road a little smoother. It’s about taking small steps each day that bring us closer to our goal.“A journey of a thousand mile begins with a single step.” Lao Tzu

Facing the fear and doing it anyway

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“Ask not what you’re walking away from but what you’re walking towards”

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CZ

A friend once told me she thought I was amazing and as well as being embarrassed it took me by surprise, so I reflected on where her comments had come from.

I have strengths (as we all do) and I have weaknesses (as we all do) and I guess we all have a bit of amazing too. It’s just that it remains buried in so many of us, the difference between amazing and ‘the norm’ is courage, those who dare to give it a go and face the fear of failure to follow their dreams and the ability is in all of us.

When I look back on what started me on this journey it seems to make logical sense; I quit a job I didn’t enjoy, I left a relationship I’d outgrown and spent time doing what I love with people who liked the same things, now to me this is common sense, I struggled to see what was inspirational in stopping doing things that made you unhappy. So why did it take me 5 years to put those thoughts into action and what stopped me doing it from day 1 if it made so much sense.

The short answer is fear; fear I won’t have enough (money, security, approval), fear I won’t be enough (good enough) and fear of the unknown, leaving what I know and getting outside my comfort zone. Since being on that journey I have realised these feelings are not unique to me, there are so many people stuck where they are for fear of heading towards where they’d rather be.

I’ve travelled the world and done many amazing things and people say I’m courageous, a go getter but in reality the majority of things I’ve done have scared me witless and I’ve been so close to not doing them so often due to fear. I’d wake up in the mornings and think, maybe they’ll be a flood and I won’t have to go but once I’d felt my fear and got on with it, I loved it and was so glad I did it.

I spent many years scared to leave my job but since I found the courage to do that and follow my passion I’ve never looked back, the same with travelling to foreign countries alone, volunteering to teach English in Thailand, doing a skydive and swimming with a whale shark.

Once on the edge of doing something amazing you leave your comfort zone and it feels scary, it makes you cling to the edge like your life depends on it and so many of us give up at this point but if you take that leap of the edge you’ll feel great. You’ll have amazing experiences and you’ll inspire others to follow their dreams too, what’s more once you’ve proven you can do it your comfort zone expands and next time it won’t be so scary.

You have to get outside your comfort zone to experience these things and that will always cause fear, fear of the unknown, but it’s not a sign to put the brakes on, it’s a sign you’re growing and taking steps forward as a person. Don’t let fear put you off, expect it, embrace it and do it anyway.

So what’s our comfort zone and how does it work? It’s called that because it feels nice, safe and comfortable and that’s why it’s so easy to stay there, it takes courage to step outside of our comfort zone and do things that are different and unfamiliar. The good news is that if we put ourselves out and move outside of our comfort zone it expands and gets bigger and as our comfort zone becomes bigger we learn more and things become easier as there are less things outside of our comfort zone and therefore less that scares us.

Think of public speaking, a thing that sits outside of most people’s comfort zone, it makes many of us nervous, me included. But once we’ve done one, we can do another and by the time we’ve done 30 our comfort zone has expanded and now includes public speaking so it no longer feels so nerve racking and our confidence improves.

The bad news is that you have to make that first step outside of your comfort zone and feel the fear and do it anyway to get to this space. Getting outside of our comfort zone helps us grow and become the people we’re capable of being but we must accept it will not be easy and the path will be fraught with challenges along the way, that’s why it helps us grow because we overcome them and evolve. There will always be fear, challenge and uncomfortable feelings when we move outside our comfort zone but unless we do we’ll never grow to become the people we’re capable of being, stepping outside of your comfort zone is the way to learn, grow and achieve.

It’s a bit like a bird in a cage, like a prison but the door is open, the bird is scared about what’s on the outside but can see freedom through the open door. A bit shaky at first the bird takes flight and realises that the whole sky is hers, she spreads her wings and flies, experiencing the adventure and is free.

To get somewhere you’ve never been, you have to do something you’ve never done.

Live a life you don't need to escape from

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happy man

Why I swapped my corporate suit for yoga pants.

Inspiration and advice for anyone who's feeling stuck, unhappy at work, contemplating a career change or wanting to follow their passion. 

Have a read of my latest blog on Tiny Buddha

"Instead of wondering when our next vacation is, we should set up a life we don't need to escape from", Seth Goldin http://tinybuddha.com/blog/imagine-living-a-life-you-dont-need-to-escape-from/

7 Steps to Happiness

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View this 7 minute clip on my You Tube Channel; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPbNK1TVuRg

Find out in 7 easy steps how to bring happiness into your life, filmed on a beautiful Indonesian island, worth watching for the view alone!

Lessons Learned Living Life

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I’d spent the last 15 years planning what I wanted my life to be like and writing bucket lists of all the things I wanted to achieve one day then I realised that had actually been my life and I needed to start living my dreams not just thinking about them.

My search for happiness took me around the world only to arrive back where I started to find it had been with me all along. After 15 years as a Human Resources professional climbing the corporate ladder I had enough, I felt empty and anything but the ‘success’ my life looked like from the outside. This lead to a change for me, I took 12 months out to write a book, travel the world, volunteer and became a yoga teacher.

I learned more about life during this time that any number of years at school or hours in leadership courses has taught me, here are 50 lessons I have learned from living life;

    1. Before you love anyone else, first you must love yourself

    2. Nothing is out of your reach, unless you put it there

    3. Know which direction you want to go before you set off

    4. Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food (Socrates)

    5. If you let go of excess baggage that you no longer need you’ll make room for what you really want

    6. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one

    7. It’s not what you’re walking away from, it’s what you’re walking towards

    8. Stretch yourself and grow, learn new things

    9. Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create

    10. Laugh everyday, even at yourself

    11. You are not defined by your bank account, street address, job title

    12. You make a living by what you get but you make a life by what you give

    13. You don’t always have to have all of the answers

    14. You do not need to have valuable stuff to feel valued

    15. Don’t try so hard to fit in if you were born to stand out

    16. You define your own success

    17. The time is now be in the present moment

    18. Sometimes you have to disconnect to reconnect

    19. By slowing down you’ll find you have more time

    20. The quieter you become the more you can hear

    21. You can’t always control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it

    22. Instead of wondering when our next vacation is we should set up a life we don’t need to escape from (Seth Goldin)

    23. You can’t learn to surf without getting wet (John Kabat Zinn)

    24. Live simply so that others can simply live

    25. There’s always enough time if you spend it doing the things that matter

    26. Don’t be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life

    27. We are what we think, our thoughts make our world

    28. There are no mistakes only lessons

    29. Happiness isn’t about getting what you want it’s about loving what you have

    30. I can be wealthy even when my purse is empty

    31. Don’t chase your dreams, live them

    32. Don’t change so people will like you, be yourself so the right people will love you

    33. Everyone is fighting their own battles, always be kind

    34. Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results (Einstein)

    35. We should measure in value not in price

    36. You can do anything you want but you can’t do everything you want

    37. Do what you love and love what you do and you will be successful

    38. That man is poor, not who has little but who hankers after more (Seneca)

    39. You can’t change anyone but yourself

    40. Not all those who wander are lost

    41. You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step

    42. Security is not having things it’s handling things

    43. It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult (Seneca)

    44. A journey of a thousand mile begins with a single step (Lao Tzu)

    45. Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. (Benjamin Disraeli)

    46. Everyone who got where they are started from where they were.

    47. Live as though you’ll die tomorrow, but dream as though you’ll live forever

    48. Some pursue happiness, others create it

    49. Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. (Robert Brault)

    50. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be, (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

5 things to help create the life you deserve

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Have you ever thought “it shouldn’t be this hard” or “there must be more to life than this”? What do those who are happy and fulfilled do differently and how can we get a piece of the action?

Start by asking yourself these questions; When do you feel most alive, what inspires you and makes your heart sing? Life often feels harder than it should be, we’re left thinking, what’s it about, how do I change things and how can I find a way off this wheel? It doesn’t have to be this way, we should not be so busy making a living that we forget to make a life.

We can be rich and ‘successful’ (and many of us would like to be) but this does not necessarily leave us feeling fulfilled. Being happy and living with purpose is very different from society’s model of ‘success’ we’ve been led to believe holds the key to our happiness.

Try these 5 simple tips to create a life you deserve; 

1.  Learn something new

Continuous growth is important, we all like to have something to aim for. Our ambitions and goals gives us a sense of direction and satisfaction when we achieve what we set out to do. Whether it’s a dance class you’ve wanted to start, learning to draw or a language you want to learn it stimulates your mind and soul and stretches you to challenge yourself and achieve.

2.  Let go

Lao Tzu said “To become learned each day add something, to become enlightened each day drop something”. Clearing clutter, removing blocks makes room in your life for the things that matter. When you clean your house it feels more orderly and balanced, in the same way, letting go of what no longer serves you makes room for things that do.

We live in a world where we feel we have to have things to be happy, it leads us on an endless pursuit of material possessions, upgrading the car, extending the house, buying more accessories. We feel we have to ‘have’ things to be free when it’s the opposite. Our struggle to hold onto things brings the very pain we are trying to avoid, we are terrified of letting go for fear we’ll have nothing but this is the true path to living.

If you have been hurt by someone and you still hold anger and resentment because of it, you are letting them hurt you again. Forgiveness sets you free, let go of resentment. “Holding onto anger is like holding a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else, you are the one that gets burned” Buddhist saying.

3.  Give

It gives us a sense of purpose and that warm feeling that we’ve helped someone in need. It doesn’t have to be big money donations to charity, helping an old lady across the road with her shopping or letting a car in front of you in a traffic queue and other small random acts of kindness are equally important.

The root of all happiness comes from giving to others and wanting them to be happy. Studies show that giving to others makes us happier, when groups of people were given the same amount of money to spend on themselves or on others it was those who spent it on others that reported feeling happier.

Researchers at the University of Exeter Medical School analysed data from 40 published studies and found evidence that volunteers had a 20 percent lower risk of death than their peers who do not volunteer.

4.  Find your purpose

Finding your purpose, why are you here, what’s it all about, what makes your life worth living. What’s important to you, what would you do and who would you be if money and other barriers were no object, what sort of person would you be, how would you like to be remembered?

We often get our sense of self from what we do (e.g. I’m a mother, a lawyer, a widow). You are more than your job title or your social status, this should not define you or be who you are, it is just what you do.

Work is something we spend so much of our time doing we should ensure for a happy life that we enjoy it and it brings us a sense of purpose and satisfaction. Yet so many of us leave our souls behind when we go to work. Don’t ask ‘what do I want to do’ ask ‘what kind of life do I want to have?’

5.  Do what you love

It can be the small things like a walk along the beach, playing with the dog, visiting your favourite coffee shop, sitting down to read a good book or bigger things like travelling the world, skydiving or simply a night in with the family. Think about what makes your heart sing and incorporate things you love into every day. If you do what you love you will be successful.

Make 2015 your year!

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As the New Year approaches we are busy thinking about the possibilities for 2015 and what lofty goals we may set for our New Year Resolutions.

We’ll be telling ourselves, “this is the year, it’ll be different”, we have new found motivation to achieve goals that maybe we’ve been ‘considering’ for the last few New Years. I’m going to lose weight, I’m going to get up earlier, get fit, I’m going to find a new job. We dust off our bucket list for review, we join the gym, we update our CV and then by February the motivation has lapsed slightly, we’ve had a few set backs and real life has taken over and we no longer have the promise of a New Year hanging in the air to give us that extra push.

Maybe we’ve taken salad to work for a few days and avoided the bread basket when we’ve been out for dinner but really we’re only a few weeks into the year and not that much has changed. How do you get from where you are to where you want to be and ensure that this year is the year?

There’s a big difference between talking about what we want to achieve and actually doing it, how do we make it happen and actually do those things we say we’re going to do, whether it’s New Year or anytime of the year. I’m not an expert, I still have things I’ve talked about that have not quite been crossed of my list yet but I have a pretty good track record. Quitting my corporate job to follow my dreams, travelling the world, spending a year living out of a van as a nomad, volunteering to teach English overseas, studying Buddhism whilst working full time, training to become a yoga teacher and emigrating to the other side of the world.

So how do we make our dreams reality and what is it that so often stops us? If it was easy there would be no challenge and we’d not be having this conversation, your resolve will be key. It all depends on you and you must take responsibility and make the right choices along the way. Take control of your own destiny, know why you’re doing it and understand the consequences of failure and keep this in your mind. So as you mull over your prospects for 2015 consider these top tips to help you achieve your goals and live your dreams;

  • Understand what you really want. Take some quiet time out to reflect on what this might be. The quieter we become the more we can hear, listen to what is deep inside of you. Make sure your goals are actually what you want not what you think you should want.

  • Set your intentions – commit to it and believe in yourself.

  • Write it down and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day to keep it at the front of your mind.

  • Make it realistic so you give yourself every chance to achieve it.

  • If it’s big, break it down, set milestones and timeframes to work to.

  • Think positive, ordinary people can achieve extra ordinary things, the only person stopping you is yourself.

  • Tell people what you’re doing. The more people know, the more ‘pressure’ there is to succeed, you’ll have people asking you about it, the fear of failure increases if it is more public and this helps hold you accountable. You may also find that by making it public you encourage others to join you or find support in places you least expected.

  • Be grateful. Don’t get so lost in the search for something better that you forget all the good things you already have. Get into the habit of giving gratitude everyday even for the small things, you may even want to keep a gratitude journal. If you want to get fitter this year remember to be grateful for your health and wellbeing and the opportunity you have to improve your fitness, not everyone is so lucky.

  • Give yourself a break. There will be ups and downs, praise yourself for the small successes but don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go so well. Your attitude is critical in your success, so if you accidently ate that piece of cake at lunchtime, get back on the wagon rather than letting it ruin your good intentions and doing more damage. Be kind to yourself and don’t let a little derailer put you completely off track.

  • Keep the company of those walking the same path. Like minded people will understand what you’re trying to achieve, they may even be on the same journey themselves giving you a support network of people to share ideas and motivation with. They are more likely to be positive about what you’re aiming for and show an interest in what you’re doing.

  • Lose the company of those who do not believe in you or are not supportive. Negative attitudes are infectious and they’ll weaken your resolve, they’ll inadvertently convince you that you’ll fail and may become a distraction to what you’re trying to achieve.

  • Let go! Of what you think you should be, grudges from the past, limiting beliefs (I’m too old, not good enough etc.), the need to control the outcome, the need for perfection (you don’t need to know everything). Have faith, trust the process and know that if you’re on the right path you’re heading in the right direction.

  • Stop procrastinating. There’s always an excuse or a better time. (I’ll start the diet on Monday or after my birthday/holiday etc.). Procrastination comes in many forms all distractions from achieving our goals, conditions will never be perfect, don’t let negative thoughts overcome your motivation, start now. This is it, this is life, you’re living it now, you only get once chance, it’s too precious a chance to waste on being unhappy. You get once chance to make it great and you can make it whatever you want it to be.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” Lao Tzu“Every ordinary person has extraordinary potential” Swami Satyananda