I’d spent the last 15 years planning what I wanted my life to be like and writing bucket lists of all the things I wanted to achieve one day then I realised that had actually been my life and I needed to start living my dreams not just thinking about them.

My search for happiness took me around the world only to arrive back where I started to find it had been with me all along. After 15 years as a Human Resources professional climbing the corporate ladder I had enough, I felt empty and anything but the ‘success’ my life looked like from the outside. This lead to a change for me, I took 12 months out to write a book, travel the world, volunteer and became a yoga teacher.

I learned more about life during this time that any number of years at school or hours in leadership courses has taught me, here are 50 lessons I have learned from living life;

Before you love anyone else, first you must love yourself
Nothing is out of your reach, unless you put it there
Know which direction you want to go before you set off
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food (Socrates)
If you let go of excess baggage that you no longer need you’ll make room for what you really want
You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one
It’s not what you’re walking away from, it’s what you’re walking towards
Stretch yourself and grow, learn new things
Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create
Laugh everyday, even at yourself
You are not defined by your bank account, street address, job title
You make a living by what you get but you make a life by what you give
You don’t always have to have all of the answers
You do not need to have valuable stuff to feel valued
Don’t try so hard to fit in if you were born to stand out
You define your own success
The time is now be in the present moment
Sometimes you have to disconnect to reconnect
By slowing down you’ll find you have more time
The quieter you become the more you can hear
You can’t always control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it
Instead of wondering when our next vacation is we should set up a life we don’t need to escape from (Seth Goldin)
You can’t learn to surf without getting wet (John Kabat Zinn)
Live simply so that others can simply live
There’s always enough time if you spend it doing the things that matter
Don’t be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life
We are what we think, our thoughts make our world
There are no mistakes only lessons
Happiness isn’t about getting what you want it’s about loving what you have
I can be wealthy even when my purse is empty
Don’t chase your dreams, live them
Don’t change so people will like you, be yourself so the right people will love you
Everyone is fighting their own battles, always be kind
Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results (Einstein)
We should measure in value not in price
You can do anything you want but you can’t do everything you want
Do what you love and love what you do and you will be successful
That man is poor, not who has little but who hankers after more (Seneca)
You can’t change anyone but yourself
Not all those who wander are lost
You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step
Security is not having things it’s handling things
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult (Seneca)
A journey of a thousand mile begins with a single step (Lao Tzu)
Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. (Benjamin Disraeli)
Everyone who got where they are started from where they were.
Live as though you’ll die tomorrow, but dream as though you’ll live forever
Some pursue happiness, others create it
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. (Robert Brault)
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be, (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

jess_stuart

20 January 2015

Change, Happiness, Health, Success

5 things to help create the life you deserve

jess_stuart

20 January 2015

Change, Happiness, Health, Success

Have you ever thought “it shouldn’t be this hard” or “there must be more to life than this”? What do those who are happy and fulfilled do differently and how can we get a piece of the action?

Start by asking yourself these questions; When do you feel most alive, what inspires you and makes your heart sing? Life often feels harder than it should be, we’re left thinking, what’s it about, how do I change things and how can I find a way off this wheel? It doesn’t have to be this way, we should not be so busy making a living that we forget to make a life.

We can be rich and ‘successful’ (and many of us would like to be) but this does not necessarily leave us feeling fulfilled. Being happy and living with purpose is very different from society’s model of ‘success’ we’ve been led to believe holds the key to our happiness.

Try these 5 simple tips to create a life you deserve;

1. Learn something new

Continuous growth is important, we all like to have something to aim for. Our ambitions and goals gives us a sense of direction and satisfaction when we achieve what we set out to do. Whether it’s a dance class you’ve wanted to start, learning to draw or a language you want to learn it stimulates your mind and soul and stretches you to challenge yourself and achieve.

2. Let go

Lao Tzu said “To become learned each day add something, to become enlightened each day drop something”. Clearing clutter, removing blocks makes room in your life for the things that matter. When you clean your house it feels more orderly and balanced, in the same way, letting go of what no longer serves you makes room for things that do.

We live in a world where we feel we have to have things to be happy, it leads us on an endless pursuit of material possessions, upgrading the car, extending the house, buying more accessories. We feel we have to ‘have’ things to be free when it’s the opposite. Our struggle to hold onto things brings the very pain we are trying to avoid, we are terrified of letting go for fear we’ll have nothing but this is the true path to living.

If you have been hurt by someone and you still hold anger and resentment because of it, you are letting them hurt you again. Forgiveness sets you free, let go of resentment. “Holding onto anger is like holding a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else, you are the one that gets burned” Buddhist saying.

3. Give

It gives us a sense of purpose and that warm feeling that we’ve helped someone in need. It doesn’t have to be big money donations to charity, helping an old lady across the road with her shopping or letting a car in front of you in a traffic queue and other small random acts of kindness are equally important.

The root of all happiness comes from giving to others and wanting them to be happy. Studies show that giving to others makes us happier, when groups of people were given the same amount of money to spend on themselves or on others it was those who spent it on others that reported feeling happier.

Researchers at the University of Exeter Medical School analysed data from 40 published studies and found evidence that volunteers had a 20 percent lower risk of death than their peers who do not volunteer.

4. Find your purpose

Finding your purpose, why are you here, what’s it all about, what makes your life worth living. What’s important to you, what would you do and who would you be if money and other barriers were no object, what sort of person would you be, how would you like to be remembered?

We often get our sense of self from what we do (e.g. I’m a mother, a lawyer, a widow). You are more than your job title or your social status, this should not define you or be who you are, it is just what you do.

Work is something we spend so much of our time doing we should ensure for a happy life that we enjoy it and it brings us a sense of purpose and satisfaction. Yet so many of us leave our souls behind when we go to work. Don’t ask ‘what do I want to do’ ask ‘what kind of life do I want to have?’

5. Do what you love

It can be the small things like a walk along the beach, playing with the dog, visiting your favourite coffee shop, sitting down to read a good book or bigger things like travelling the world, skydiving or simply a night in with the family. Think about what makes your heart sing and incorporate things you love into every day. If you do what you love you will be successful.

jess_stuart

21 December 2014

Change, Happiness, Success

Make 2015 your year!

jess_stuart

21 December 2014

Change, Happiness, Success

As the New Year approaches we are busy thinking about the possibilities for 2015 and what lofty goals we may set for our New Year Resolutions.

We’ll be telling ourselves, “this is the year, it’ll be different”, we have new found motivation to achieve goals that maybe we’ve been ‘considering’ for the last few New Years. I’m going to lose weight, I’m going to get up earlier, get fit, I’m going to find a new job. We dust off our bucket list for review, we join the gym, we update our CV and then by February the motivation has lapsed slightly, we’ve had a few set backs and real life has taken over and we no longer have the promise of a New Year hanging in the air to give us that extra push.

Maybe we’ve taken salad to work for a few days and avoided the bread basket when we’ve been out for dinner but really we’re only a few weeks into the year and not that much has changed. How do you get from where you are to where you want to be and ensure that this year is the year?

There’s a big difference between talking about what we want to achieve and actually doing it, how do we make it happen and actually do those things we say we’re going to do, whether it’s New Year or anytime of the year. I’m not an expert, I still have things I’ve talked about that have not quite been crossed of my list yet but I have a pretty good track record. Quitting my corporate job to follow my dreams, travelling the world, spending a year living out of a van as a nomad, volunteering to teach English overseas, studying Buddhism whilst working full time, training to become a yoga teacher and emigrating to the other side of the world.

So how do we make our dreams reality and what is it that so often stops us? If it was easy there would be no challenge and we’d not be having this conversation, your resolve will be key. It all depends on you and you must take responsibility and make the right choices along the way. Take control of your own destiny, know why you’re doing it and understand the consequences of failure and keep this in your mind. So as you mull over your prospects for 2015 consider these top tips to help you achieve your goals and live your dreams;

Understand what you really want. Take some quiet time out to reflect on what this might be. The quieter we become the more we can hear, listen to what is deep inside of you. Make sure your goals are actually what you want not what you think you should want.
Set your intentions – commit to it and believe in yourself.
Write it down and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day to keep it at the front of your mind.
Make it realistic so you give yourself every chance to achieve it.
If it’s big, break it down, set milestones and timeframes to work to.
Think positive, ordinary people can achieve extra ordinary things, the only person stopping you is yourself.
Tell people what you’re doing. The more people know, the more ‘pressure’ there is to succeed, you’ll have people asking you about it, the fear of failure increases if it is more public and this helps hold you accountable. You may also find that by making it public you encourage others to join you or find support in places you least expected.
Be grateful. Don’t get so lost in the search for something better that you forget all the good things you already have. Get into the habit of giving gratitude everyday even for the small things, you may even want to keep a gratitude journal. If you want to get fitter this year remember to be grateful for your health and wellbeing and the opportunity you have to improve your fitness, not everyone is so lucky.
Give yourself a break. There will be ups and downs, praise yourself for the small successes but don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go so well. Your attitude is critical in your success, so if you accidently ate that piece of cake at lunchtime, get back on the wagon rather than letting it ruin your good intentions and doing more damage. Be kind to yourself and don’t let a little derailer put you completely off track.
Keep the company of those walking the same path. Like minded people will understand what you’re trying to achieve, they may even be on the same journey themselves giving you a support network of people to share ideas and motivation with. They are more likely to be positive about what you’re aiming for and show an interest in what you’re doing.
Lose the company of those who do not believe in you or are not supportive. Negative attitudes are infectious and they’ll weaken your resolve, they’ll inadvertently convince you that you’ll fail and may become a distraction to what you’re trying to achieve.
Let go! Of what you think you should be, grudges from the past, limiting beliefs (I’m too old, not good enough etc.), the need to control the outcome, the need for perfection (you don’t need to know everything). Have faith, trust the process and know that if you’re on the right path you’re heading in the right direction.
Stop procrastinating. There’s always an excuse or a better time. (I’ll start the diet on Monday or after my birthday/holiday etc.). Procrastination comes in many forms all distractions from achieving our goals, conditions will never be perfect, don’t let negative thoughts overcome your motivation, start now. This is it, this is life, you’re living it now, you only get once chance, it’s too precious a chance to waste on being unhappy. You get once chance to make it great and you can make it whatever you want it to be.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” Lao Tzu“Every ordinary person has extraordinary potential” Swami Satyananda