We spend so much of our time at work it makes sense we should be happy there, but so many of us are not.
Having spent a decade in Human Resources and a subsequent decade coaching people since, I’ve been lucky to build a career I’ve dreamed of and interview others that have done the same. I’ve also seen the other side of this coin. The question I’m often asked is ‘should I leave?’
It’s easier to think the grass might be greener or maybe the opposite, we worry we’ll be jumping from the frying pan into the fire – both can be valid concerns. Even when we’re relatively happy in our roles there can be the itchy feet of seeing what’s out there, could I get a promotion, a pay rise or something better for my CV and career ambitions?
Maybe you want to leave but the benefits and familiarity keep you there. You’re bored but it’s easy and you like your team right?
It’s times like these it can be hard to know when to stay or go. And even if we should go, that’s another thing entirely making that leap. Finding something to go to or worse, leaping into the unknown and wondering how we’ll pay the mortgage after the next few weeks.
Sometimes the answer is obvious. There’s a pending restructure, your boss is a bully or you’ve been signed off work because the impacts to your health have been so grave. This is what I call a burning platform. You have no choice but to go, the next priority becomes navigating yourself into something better. Yet often the platform can be alight without us realising it’s burning.
In this current climate job security can keep us hanging on for too long. We’re comfortable, it pays our bills and it’s not that terrible. So how do we know when to stay or go?
In my experience we always know the answer to this question, it just might be an answer that makes us uncomfortable or that we find a million excuses not to see. Once we see it we have to take action and that leads us into a scary place of the unknown or having to make change, it’s human nature that this is hard. That’s why a coach can be useful in figuring this out with you.
From my experience coaching hundreds of individuals and being on the other side of the fence in HR here’s the most common reasons I see people come to the conclusion it’s time to go.
Talent not nurtured – those with talent are hardest to keep, not only do they get bored more quickly but sometimes others who may not be as talented can see them as a threat. They also have their pick of other roles as they’re in demand. If you’re talented you need constant growth, challenge and development to nurture that talent and a special kind of leader who is not threatend by your ability.
Values mis-aligned – if you’re working with a business or a leader with a very different values set it can be like speaking a different language. It can also feel like selling your soul each time your values get compromised and this drains us more quickly than we realise. What are your values and do they match with the culture around you?
I’ve outgrown this role/place – ‘it’s easy and I’m coasting’, this can be so hard to leave and yet if you gain satisfaction from achievement and growth it’s a must. We can become too comfortable and if this starts to have a detrimental impact on our motivation, productivity and performance we need a new challenge. That might of course be in the role we’re in or the business that employees us – it’s well worth having that conversation first.
I don’t belong here – ever feel like the odd one out? Like you need to change parts of yourself to be more like everyone else? When your differences are not appreciated and even worse made to feel like a negative it can be a sign of a mis-alignment of values or a workplace/leader that is not inclusive. This is not a recipe for getting the best out of you and is often a short cut to second guessing, self-doubting and not feeling good enough. Start to look for something where you can be apricated for what you bring and an organisation in which you can be yourself.
Toxic culture – this one is probably still, sadly, one of the biggest and most damaging. There’s no other way around it than to leave. This is the one where my advice would always be start looking now and start figuring out what kind of culture you’d flourish in. A seed can never grow in toxic soil, we’re the same.
You don’t have clarity or autonomy to do your job or it’s not recognised or appreciated – there’s no faster way to erode engagement than to not recognise or appreciate our team members and it’s so easy. If you feel your hard work goes unrecognised, unrewarded or even worse, someone else takes the credit it may be time for a rethink. Similarly if your boss is a micro manager, you don’t feel trusted or supported or leaders are unable to give you clarity on what’s expected of you. These are fundamental pillars of good engagement that translates directly into our motivation and performance. Always have the conversation first internally before exhausting all options and putting one foot out of the door.
Constant change – this can feel like it’s hampering progress when teams seem to have a revolving door and a new manager every 6 months. We never seen to make progress, we’re always unsettled. It can be hard to motivate ourselves in this environment. It also depends on the quality of the leaders managing the change too. In my experience throughout all of these examples it is true that people most often leave a leader not a job.
It goes without saying that if your current work situation is damaging your health or eroding your confidence it’s time to start planning an exit strategy. It might be comfortable, the money may be good, it might feel ‘not that terrible’ yet once these impacts begin the hole tends to get deeper. It’s much harder to find a new role when you’ve got to go out and sell yourself and show prospective employers you at your best when you feel like crap. If your role is impacting your confidence, your energy or just not stimulating you enough because your under challenged all of this will hamper your progress up and out into something better.
If you’re looking for support on your career journey or need help deciding if you should stay or go and what might be next, I wrote a book called I Love Mondays a few years ago full of practical advice and support, as well as case studies from many people who have done just that.
