How to thrive at work - even in times of uncertainty

As I walk with the dog this morning along Onetangi Beach, I notice a chill in the air and for the first time in months, I feel the need for a jumper. The sand feels cold under my bare feet and I’m wishing I’d made more of summer. I’m sad that autumn is here. But this happens every year, it’s not like it should be a surprise, so why do I feel this way?

We humans don’t like change. Even something as inevitable as the turn of the seasons can remind us we’re not in control, and you don't have to look far for other examples. The last few years have been disruptive to say the least. The World Economic Forum has label this post-pandemic era a "polycrisis" as we face economic uncertainty, global wars, political upheaval and climate change with its more immediate and ongoing weather events.

According to survey on Stats NZ, dissatisfaction at work has increased as job security decreased. Of those employees who felt they had an almost certain or high chance of losing their job for a reason beyond their control, 13 percent were dissatisfied with their job, compared with only 2.5 percent of those who felt there was almost no chance of losing their job.

As humans we like to plan, to know what’s going on and how we can best prepare ourselves for what’s coming. It comes from a place of risk mitigation and a sense we have control over our futures.

Has anyone felt lately like our futures might be out of our control? The feeling can take its toll, especially professionally – that regular salary usually dictates how we live and provide for our families and suddenly we're not sure we can rely on it continuing.

I love my job, but I remember those times during the pandemic I struggled to motivate myself. I wasn’t at my creative best and when work started to dry up I had a feeling of ‘what’s the point?’.

Similarly I remember my frustration and disbelief when I sat across from my bosses boss at a Palmerston North café learning my job was part of the recent restructure. I could transfer my role but I’d need to move regions – a new house and a new life, or no job at all. It felt like the sand was shifting under my feet and everything I was certain of was threatened. My routine, paying my bills on time, my family life.

During such times I’ve noticed a drop in my productivity. My mood dips, I’m not as motivated and I seem to need more rest to offset the worry.

It's hard to focus when those same old questions cycle through our brains: Should I give my all to that project when it’s about to get put on hold? Should I invest in building a relationship with my new boss who’s only in an acting role so may not stick around? Should we book that holiday or save the money in case I lose my job? What if this latest restructure I’ve heard about includes my role? Should I start looking for another one now just in case?

Uncertainty seems part of our norm now – the one thing we can be certain of! If it’s not a pandemic, a weather event or a restructure, there will be something else. It can be a great lesson for us, although not always a pleasant one. But it helps us learn to make peace with these kinds of challenging times – when holding on, keeping calm and getting through might be more important than shining and winning accolades and attention.

Just because we’re capable of brilliance doesn’t mean we should expect it from ourselves all the time, especially not when our sense of certainty is under threat.

If you’re anything like me, the end of another summer is sad news. I love summer and I always want more. Yet it’s inevitable that nature will start to slow down as we head into winter. It has to rest and recover in time to renew and bloom again come spring. These natural cycles are constant. Much like life and work.

I’ve learned that it’s less about trying to change the stuff we can’t control and more about changing the way we view them so we can adapt to the challenges that arise.

To know that we never really know what’s around the corner, uncertainty is normal. It's not about taming it, it's about flowing with it.

Three ways to cope when overwhelmed by uncertainty:

• Look for the sunshine in the clouds, the things you have to be grateful for, the highlights even in the hardest days or weeks. Where possible, choose to focus more on these things and less on your fears and anxieties.

• Focus on the things you can control. The economy and global politics are out of your hands, but the state of chaos in your house or your car or on top of your desk, that's up to you. By maintaining order in small corners of our lives we often find we're less afraid to act on the big things (applying for a new job maybe) and we can regain a sense of power.

• Find time for the rituals in your life (and the people) that keep you grounded, that add certainty to your schedule and help you gain perspective on what really matters.

Written for 1News

Burn bright, not out: Six ways to avoid workplace burnout

It was the day before my 31st birthday at a step class at my local Les Mills early one Hamilton evening when I suddenly crashed to the floor. It had been a busy day and my job requires far too much sitting so whilst I didn’t feel like it, I forced myself to put on my trainers and get on that step amid the pumping music. As I lay on the floor the class continued around me, a couple of gym staff rushed over to give me ice but the strange thing was nothing physical hurt. It was something on the inside that had broken, I was broken. The flood gates opened, not tears of pain but some sort of unravelling that felt like it might have been loitering around the surface for some time, now finally released.

In 2019 the World Health Organisation officially classified workplace burnout as an occupational phenomenon and we’ve been talking about it ever since.

Research shows one in four employees surveyed across various demographics and all over the world had experienced symptoms of burnout. Burnout is on the rise and it’s coming at a huge personal cost.

I think the cause of it is clear: we’ve been sold a myth that more is better. We need to do more, be more and focus on increasing quantity. What we’ve seen is that as a result quality has suffered; not just of our work but of of our health and ultimately our happiness. I believe in the concept that less can be more – in fact, constantly striving for more may be our undoing.

As part of my burnout recovery I spent time studying in Asia with Buddhist monks and nuns learning a different way of being. I was lucky enough to visit the kingdom of Bhutan, famous for measuring Gross National Happiness in place of Gross Domestic Product.

One day I was trekking to the Tiger's Nest monastery perched high in the Himalayas. A much older, but fitter, monk was leading us to the top. It was a warm day and I was clearly not as used to this as he was. “How far is it to the top” I asked. He replied: “It’s better to travel well than to arrive”.

In other words, slow down, enjoy the view, you’ve travelled from the other side of the world to be here so be here. I realised that in my life I was so consumed with trying to get to the destination or tick off the goals on my to-do list, I wasn’t traveling well.

Busyness has become endemic and as a result we’re struggling. It’s become a marker of success at work and something we’ve attached our self worth to with disastrous consequences.

After that step class I headed to the hospital, thinking I might be having a heart attack or some other serious issue, only to be told after many tests that I needed time off, I was burnt out. My first thought as I sat in the doctor's cubical was, “I’m a failure, I couldn’t keep up with the pace, people will think I can’t cope”. My prescription was a list of things to stop doing, work included. Yet my inclination was to write a list of all the things I was going to do to beat this thing – there’s a clue as to why I might have been at risk of burnout in the first place.

I’ve since learned that slowing down allows us to speed up. That prioritising the strategies that keep me well is not just self-care but a critical part of me being able to perform. Just like an athlete's training and nutrition schedule before the race, I need to put fuel in to sustain my performance at work.

Based on my journey and the things that keep me on top form these days, here are my six recommendations for beating burnout:

Mind your busyness

Running around on an empty tank and proclaiming your extreme busyness is not a badge of honour or a reflection of how valuable you are. It’s a sign you’re not at your best. Slow down so you can be effective, rather than busy. Initially that will mean saying "no" sometimes when every bone in your body is used to saying "yes". It might mean not putting your hand up for that extra project that you think will impress your boss if you squeeze it into your already packed day. But in the long run healthy boundaries and a calm demeanour will earn you more respect than working yourself to a frazzle will.

Priorities rest and self-care

Whether it be a long daily walks, a full lunch hour, a massage, a manicure (or a regular rotation of all of the above), the practices that bring us happiness and help us shine are not selfish indulgences. They are crucial steps to building resilience and ensuring we're a sustainable resource. Everyone benefits from a more rested, recharged version of you. I often tell my clients we’d not skip the fuel station on a road trip because we know we’d break down, so why do it to ourselves? We’ll never get to our destination unless we stop to refuel.

Know the signs

Are your irritation levels high? Are you waking up in the night and worrying? Does work feel pointless? Everyone has different signs of burnout, so it's important to recognise yours. Then audit your energy levels and fuel the tank as necessary. Our mobile phones have a battery icon that gives us a precise percentage. Mine even glows red when it drops below 20% as a warning. Imagine if we had the same on our internal screens – what’s your percentage energy level today?

Master the art of tiny gains

Focus on small simple goals and, where possible, one thing at a time. When we have too many priorities it’s impossible to focus, we feel overwhelmed and spread too thin. Out of all your priorities which is the actual priority for now? The most important thing for today or this week? Start there.

Structure your life for success

It's not about how much you work but how you work, so work in a way that enhances your wellbeing. This can be as simple as negotiating the hours that suit you, introducing walking meetings or keeping a tidy desk. This also includes delegating, setting boundaries and, as above, saying no to ensure you’ve not overcommitted.

Create space

Thinking space is so critical; it’s where we innovate, it’s how we plan, it’s also how we focus and gain clarity to make decisions and solve problems. Not to mention the impact it has on overwhelm, stress and our emotional regulation. Make sure there are empty gaps in your schedule.

Written for 1News

How to get more work done in less time - and reclaim your life

Busyness has become endemic and as a result we’re struggling. An endless to-do list and frantic demeanour has become a marker of success at work and something to which we often attach our self worth.

And this need to be busy is not all in our heads; the reality is we're often being asked to do more with fewer resources. Especially in the current economy, it’s like we’re being squeezed for productivity and it’s having disastrous consequences on our effectiveness but also our health.

At the same time our working hours are increasing, our health outcomes are getting worse, and it might not be a coincidence. Recent data from Massey University reveals that one in two employees, or 57% of the workforce, fall within the high burnout risk category. This indicates a massive increase since December 2023, when the rate was 25%.

But does high achievement have to go hand-in-hand with burnout? Could it be possible to get the same amount or work done in fewer hours, and still have energy and hours to spare at the end of the day? To be busy yet effective?

It's over a decade since I was told by my doctor that I needed time off, I was burnt out. My first thought as I left their office was “I’ve not got time for this! I’ve got too much to do to stay at home nursing burnout!” Turns out I didn’t have a choice. That's the nature of burnout, your body and brain give up.

I’d been trying to do more, get the to-do list done and deliver on my constantly expanding job description. Covering a vacancy, leading three teams not one, frequent commutes from Hamilton to Auckland’s head office and countless meetings. I wanted to be the amazing employee who could do all that but it just wasn't an option. I had to find another way.

Fast forward ten years, running my own business still means I’m busy but that looks a lot different to how it used to. I’ve mastered the art of slowing down to speed up and can focus on value and impact over busyness and hours worked. Productivity takes on a whole new meaning when we look through the lens of less-is-more and, for me, focus has been the key. The ability to tap into a deep work state.

In our distracted worlds we’ve lost the art of focus. Like Julie, a Christchurch-based CEO at a not-for-profit organisation. She told me one winter morning that she felt like she might need to hibernate for the season, she was so exhausted. “I’m spread so thin over so many things, I just don’t feel like I can concentrate on doing any of them well. I’m working all hours but still feel miles behind,” she said.

Daniel was similar. Newly promoted to a leadership role which involved a relocation to the city for an organisation in the midst of a large transition; “The goalposts are constantly changing and I feel like I need three pairs of hands to keep up,” he said. “I don’t mind working hard, I like my job, but I can see the impact it’s having on the team and I can’t help them because I’m also drowning in work.”

Sometimes focusing on one thing at a time, and doing it well, rather than spreading ourselves thinly across a range of tasks means we do a better job and become more effective over all.

In his book Deep Work, Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, Cal Newport, a professor at Georgetown University, describes the concept as "professional activities performed in a state of distraction free concentration".

Newport's book was written in 2016 – since then most of us have acquired a plethora of new distractions, with an ever-widening range of messaging and social media platforms competing for our attention. But his premise is more valid than ever: the best work is done one task at a time, without distraction. And that way, it takes less time.

Deep work is the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. It’s a skill that allows us to quickly master complicated information and produce better results in less time. Deep work is also about carving out the thinking space to come up with our best ideas.

There’s so much vying for our attention, multiple chat channels, email notifications, back-to-back meetings and still even the occasional phone call. While all these distractions are officially "work" they make it hard to get anything actually done. We can waste so much of our precious time managing these interruptions and demands on our attention. Working from home, which was supposed to decrease such distractions, often just adds fresh ones. The dog is asking me for her walk as I write!

According to Newport, deep work makes us better at what we do, but we’ve lost the art of going deep – or we don’t allow ourselves the space it requires.

This is one of the reasons I schedule retreats for myself. I go away to plan my year ahead. I go away to write. It’s usually just me in a rural Airbnb somewhere. I put my phone away, turn my notifications off and don’t check emails. This allows me the space to think, to create and to do deep work.

We don’t have to go on a retreat or even leave the office to do deep work though. All we need is an environment within which we can focus. Here are some ways to make that more achievable:

• Give yourself time to let your brain slow down. It's unlikely to snap straight from pinball-machine mode to deep work. Let yourself be understimulated (which often feels like boredom) for a few minutes.

• Set a duration, which means you intentionally allow yourself to focus on one task for a certain (and generous) amount of time, without feeling guilty or panicking that you're ignoring other tasks.

• Turn your phone on to silent; avoid all notifications; let your voicemail pick up calls and return them later.

• Get yourself set up with a glass of water, your laptop charger plugged in and any other potential distractions sorted.

• Block time-wasting temptations such as the internet and social media sites. (If you don't trust yourself you can temporarily disable the internet, or there are paid apps such as Freedom which enable you to disable particularly problematic sites, such as Instagram, for specific blocks of time.

• Work at home, with the office door closed, on days when you're tackling cognitively demanding tasks.

• If you have children, schedule this time in school/daycare hours, or organise alternative childcare (telling even the most independent kids you're "busy" is unlikely to stop their interruptions.)

• Pay attention to what helps you concentrate and create that environment. For some that means playing music, for others it means no music at all. Others might be affected by lighting.

And my final tip? Prioritise your wellbeing over your to-do list. Regular breaks, good sleep, nourishing meals and a happy outlook mean you'll stay cognitively sharp and increase your chances of focus and deep work. That means you no longer try to do everything in a half-baked way, with the constant risk of burnout and the wheels falling off. Instead, you do a few things really, really well and maintain your strength and health. And that's the path to doing more in less time.

See the TV interview below.

Written for 1News

Does winter make your Monday blues feel even bleaker?

As the days shorten and the temperatures drop, many of us feel a noticeable shift, not just in the weather, but in our energy, our mood, and our motivation. Dark commutes bookend our working days, and the lack of sunlight can leave even the most driven among us struggling to show up to work with the same spark we had in summer.

I don’t know about you but despite my best efforts to enjoy cosying up by the fire and an early night I still feel compelled to hibernate as I smash packets of tim tams on the sofa come winter! There’s something about this season that makes it harder, especially to get up and go to work. SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) runs in my family and I feel it like the flick of a switch come the end of daylight saving.

It’s also the time of year for coughs and colds and commuting on public transport can become a high-risk activity or just an extra load on an already tired immune system.

I often marvel at nature at this time of year and how it changes. The birds get up later and go to bed earlier as the daylight hours change, they’re less active in the day because there’s less food and it takes more energy to fly around in the cold. The trees lose their leaves and some animals even hibernate, taking rest to allow for spring's renewal and regeneration.

Author Katherine May explores this idea beautifully in her book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. She writes about winter not just as a season, but as a metaphor for the times in life when we need to pause, reset, and take care of ourselves. She encourages us to stop pushing through and instead find rhythm, rest, and renewal in the heart of winter.

I think we can learn a lot here and take a leaf out of nature's book. Now, most of us are not in a position to hibernate and take winter off (wouldn’t that be nice!) but if we understand our rhythms and know that it might be harder to navigate work across this particular season we can make allowances and small adjustments that can help.

Winter isn’t only a season of struggle, it also holds the potential for deep comfort and connection.

The Danish art of hygge (pronounced “hoo-gah”) embraces this wholeheartedly. Hygge is about cultivating cosiness, simplicity, and warmth, often through small, sensory pleasures: a hot cup of tea, woollen socks, candlelight, or shared meals with loved ones. It reminds us that winter can be a time to slow down and savour the indoors.

At work, this might mean adding softer lighting to your desk, taking time for a nourishing lunch, or creating space for meaningful conversations with colleagues. By bringing a little hygge into our days, we can shift our experience of winter from something to endure into something we gently enjoy.

Winter is a time of slowness, of turning inwards and yet our schedules don’t often allow this. Work doesn’t change or flex dependant on the seasons but our circadian rhythms do, so how can we be our best during these months and continue to show up at work with enthusiasm? Here are some tips to get you started.

Chase the light

Get outside during daylight hours whenever possible, but particularly in the morning. Go for a walk at lunchtime if you're in an office. Open blinds fully and sit near windows.

Keep moving

Regular movement helps counter the sluggishness of winter and releases endorphins. Try brisk walks, yoga, or indoor workouts to boost both physical and mental energy. But also take exercise "snacks" throughout the entire day: climb the stairs, walk around the block, take the long way to the loo. Research shows we need to move our bodies throughout the day, not just when we're officially "exercising".

Eat warm, nourishing foods

Focus on seasonal whole foods: root vegetables, soups, stews, and warming spices like ginger and turmeric. Reduce excess sugar, caffeine and alcohol, which can contribute to energy crashes and low mood.

Prioritise sleep

Shorter days can mess with circadian rhythms, aim for a consistent sleep routine. Avoid screens before bed, wind down with a book or meditation, and make your bedroom a warm, restful space.

Create a winter sanctuary

Make your home or workspace a cosy, inviting environment: think soft lighting, warm throws, candles, or essential oils. Your surroundings can shift your mood more than you realise.

Stay social

It’s tempting to hibernate, but connection combats the winter blues. Schedule casual catch ups, coffee dates, or join local classes or events, even virtually.

Plan the little joys

Give yourself things to look forward to: weekend outings, movie nights, holiday planning, or a mid-week treat. Anticipation is a powerful mood booster.

Redefine productivity

Instead of pushing to “do more,” winter invites us to ask: What matters most right now? This season may not be for big sprints but for slow, thoughtful progress. At work, this could be a time to prioritise depth over speed, planning over hustle.

As Katherine May reminds us, “Plants and trees take their time in winter. They prepare. They rest. They accept the season.” We can do the same. Instead of resisting the winter months or trying to hustle through them unchanged, we can choose to navigate them more gently, more consciously.

Written for 1News

Worklife balance, TV nerves and making space

When one door closes another opens.  This year I’d decided not to write a book.  I’ve generally done one a year and I love it.  There’s eight of them out there at the moment though, and this is a year of consolidation for me.  Taking stock of where I am and making space for what may emerge from here.  Especially now having 10 years in business under my belt.
 
It’s exciting to sit in this space of possibility.  It’s also very challenging sitting in the space of not knowing!  As humans we tend to want a plan, some certainty and to feel like we’re in control.  We also like to do what we know!
 
What’s funny though is once we get past the uncomfortable feeling of sitting in the space and leaning into the unknown to see what emerges – things emerge.
 
I was delighted to be asked to work with 1News as their in house work-life balance expert.  This has resulted in a regular column and some Breakfast TV segments.  In the space of not writing books, I’ve also been asked to write for Stuff so it looks like that creative writing itch will get plenty of opportunity to be scratched this year, even in the absence of a book.

It’s been interesting saying yes, taking these opportunities and seeing where they lead. Despite the imposter syndrome, the doubts that come up as soon as people start calling you an expert and that uncomfortable feeling we get in our humble and modest culture when people start recognising you from breakfast TV. All part of the experience, all an opportunity for me to practice what I teach others and to continue my own growth and development, even when it feels like I might be pushing the limits of what I imagined possible back in my days of burnout when I left the corporate world.

The one thing that continues to be my guide is finding space - to think, to be and to create. To allow what’s unfolding the space to become and to sit in that space not having to know all the answers or have it all figured out. If you’d have asked me this year what I’d planned this would not have featured and yet I’m stoked it does.
 
Making space for what comes can open us up for opportunities outside of our plans or even our imagination.  What do you need to stop doing in order to create space for something else to emerge?

You can find all the articles and TV interviews here.

Change is the only thing we can be certain of

There’s a change in the air right now, quite literally.  It’s getting colder here in Aotearoa as we come to the last of summer.  This always makes me sad.  I always want summer to be longer, I love it; it always ends!

To be fair, there’s lots to be sad about right now; world wars, economic uncertainty, the rise of the far right, the fall of democracy!  Yet I’ve been moderating my media intake to shield myself from these feelings.  The one thing we can’t not notice though is the changing of the seasons.  Yet this isn’t a bad thing.  It’s the law of nature.  It’s how nature restores and renews. 

I think as humans we go through a similar process.  A time in our life where we turn inwards, reflect and renew.  As the days get shorter I’m less inclined to do so many things and be out and about after work.  I notice I’m less motivated too and my carb intake has already shot up!

One of my biggest lessons from ancient eastern wisdom was this: it’s not the change that’s the problem, it’s our wanting it to be different.  Summer always gives way to winter and that’s good for nature – it’s only my reaction to it that brings me grief!

As humans we crave certainty, we want things to be as we expect (and enjoy) them.  Things rarely go to our plan though, life is a great example of that!  The one thing we can be sure of in this uncertain world is that change is the only thing we can be certain of.

One of the things I’ve noticed in my forty plus years with politics is that it seems to be a constant political pendulum swing from left to right and then back again – this too will pass and change, just like summer giving way to winter, winter will eventually give way to summer.  It can feel like a bit of wintering happening across the world right now but it won’t last forever.

Put a jumper on, light the fire, stay warm and wait it out.  There’s also more to it than that though.  I’m often encouraging people to focus on what they can control, not to waste time and energy trying to change the things we can’t control.  I believe the power lies in taking ownership and action to change the way we look at things so that the things we look at then change (wisdom from Dr Wayne Dyer).

The one thing I love about winter coming is that I can have longer showers because we’re not in drought and I can take down our mosquito net!  I also know I need to do things differently to get through the colder months, to change my routine and invest in my wellness in different ways.  I take vitamin D to counter-balance the reduced sunshine hours as an example.  I can’t change the fact winter is coming but I can change how I show up and approach this change.

Obviously the changing of the seasons is a small example and when there’s bigger stuff going on in our life and the world, this becomes more difficult.  The same principles apply though and I like to think if we start practicing on the small stuff, we’re a well-oiled machine by the time we have to face the bigger changes in life.

State of the workplace 2025: challenges and solutions for the year ahead

It always amazes me how quickly the time goes.  Just as we think the year is starting, we’re already at the end of the first quarter!

I’ve just launched my new and updated state of the workplace report.  Featuring the research and statistics that tell us what to expect as we progress through 2025 and where our focus should be this is always a useful read for organisations.  Not just to better understand the challenges we face but figure out the solutions too.

On a global scale the post pandemic landscape, global wars, climate crisis and economic instability have led the World Economic Forum to label this current era a polycrisis.

Now more than ever our businesses will look to the capability of their leaders to not just lead through these challenging times and navigate the uncertain future, but also to bring everyone else along on the journey and help ‘calm the farm’. From the latest reports out telling us what 2025 holds and where our focus should be, here are some of the highlights. 

The challenges we’ll face in 2025 and the things that need to be on our priority list and that our leaders need to be supported in delivering:

·       Humanising leadership in the digital age

·       Managing change and uncertainty

·       Motivating diverse teams and uniting everyone around a common goal

·       Forming connection and collaboration in a hybrid working environment

·       Budget cuts and restructures

I’ve attached the report here for your reading pleasure and would love to know what you think.

I’m always keen to chat about what you’re up to in your workplace for 2025 and how I might be able to support.  Book your free phone call here and let’s chat more.

When creativity strikes - why great ideas feel different

I find that when a good idea lands it makes a different sound.  You can feel it.  It’s like when a shift happens in our thinking or life direction that we feel in our body – you know it’s significant, even if it’s not clear how or why immediately. 

It was early morning and I was in the spa, it’s my quiet thinking time.  This idea hit me and I knew it meant something.  I didn’t want to lose it and it was moving quite fast so I hopped out and ran up to the office and began to write.  I sat at the laptop still wrapped in my towel and within 10 minutes the idea was out of my head and on paper.

Good ideas tend to come quick and are effortless and yet can so easily get away from us if we don’t pay them attention.  Elizabeth Gilbert talks about this in her book Big Magic.  She talks about an idea that visited her and stayed as just an idea. She describes how, because she was distracted, the exact same idea wound up being published by someone else, somewhere else.  The idea moved on. 

Like our ideas, our dreams go elsewhere unless we pay attention and give them space to flourish.

It turns out this idea of mine in the spa resonated with a lot of people and if you missed it, here’s the resulting piece.

Want to inject some creativity in your life?  Map out a direction for 2025?  Come and see Liz Gilbert with me live next month and let’s work together on finding your magic.

10 year business anniversary

It’s recently been my 10 year business anniversary!  That’s a long time and a lot of water under the bridge.  I’ve learned a lot and wanted to share some of those lessons today.  Going from empty community halls to sell out tours and sharing stages with celebrities the last 10 years has been one hell of a ride.  I’m forever grateful this gets to be my job and I have the privilege of sharing work I’m passionate about with the world.
 
There’s certainly been some highlights and of course there’s also been some challenges; a global pandemic being one.  I remember sitting in my lounge with a note pad brainstorming ‘what now’ when all 12 bookings for Q1 in 2020 disappeared within a 24 hour period.  There’s been times in the early days I’ve launched programmes and no one has turned up.  Times I’ve danced on the edge of burnout trying to keep up with my own expectations and the workload of being the only one in my team.  Finding out I had enough of a profile to generate trolls was also a new challenge!  Times I’ve got on stage and forgot my lines because of early stage nerves, and times I’ve got stuck in the comparison trap of all those around me who seem to be doing this better!
 
With that, there’s been some incredible highlights too.  Getting TV and magazine coverage always makes you feel special.  Going on book tours and connecting with people who see why this works matters.  Signing with Celebrity Speakers and taking the big stages across the world has been something I’ve loved.  Writing eight books and learning more about the process each time.  Building my local team of amazing people that help make this happen has also been a privilege. 
 
The biggest highlight though is always the feedback I get from you.  People who take the time to tell me what I’ve written or said has made a difference to their life in some way.  The knowledge that this mahi has a positive impact and makes a difference is the reason I keep doing it and what makes the challenges surmountable.
 
From the early days of being known for supporting women leaders to overcome their imposter syndrome, through the success of Burnout to Brilliance, to the modern day inclusion work, this year's Calmony launch, and focus on cultivating contentment and a life well lived.  There’s been a lot of ground covered and I’ve seen my business offerings shift with the needs of the market and what’s been happening in the world around us.
 
So after writing eight books, coaching hundreds of leaders and learning a lot about myself in the process, what has being in business for 10 years taught me? 
 
Just because you’ve never done it doesn’t mean you can’t do it.  This was a big lesson.  When you start out in business or anything new there’s so much you don’t know.  I’ve been on such a learning curve and each time I face something I don’t know, I know it’s something I can learn (or delegate!).  This takes the pressure off us having to have all the answers or feeling like a failure because we can’t be the head of accounts, marketing, business development and IT all at once as well as do the job we’re here to do!
 
You don’t have to have all the answers, in fact you never will.  Don’t let this make you doubt yourself.  You can be a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously and the secret is none of us really know what we’re doing here either!  It’s a constant journey and we’re always learning -  we’re a beginner even when we’re an expert.
 
Balance is critical.  There’s always more work than hours in the day and your state becomes even more critical when you’re in business for yourself, spend time on you, manage your energy and in turn it will help you manage your business.  I obviously learned this the hard way via burnout and yet that experience has since stood me in good stead for running a sustainable business.
 
Support is key.  My team are integral to my success, this one took me a while to learn.  In the early days I had to do it all by myself because of budget and even after that it was hard to ask for help, hard to let go of the control and to also allow others to do my work even though it may not be done like I do it – sound familiar?  Yet it’s the only way to avoid burnout and focus our energies on where we add most value – we can’t do it all alone! 
 
This also extends to those who inspire and mentor us too and I’ve been lucky to have some special people in my life who’ve given me so much and made this journey a lot less lonely.  People who’ve been there when times get tough and have offered advice and support along the way.  These people inspire me to see what’s possible and to keep going even when it gets hard.
 
Roll with the peaks and troughs – because it does get hard.  There’s the saying ‘It’s hard before it is easy’ and I’ve found this to be true.  There’s certainly been a snowball effect where the hard work in the early days now makes the business seem easier even though back then it felt like a lot of hard work for little return!  Remember when we’re sowing seeds, the flowers don’t bloom immediately – it takes time (and patience).
 
Even now, there are still peaks and troughs and I know that whichever one I’m in right now, the other will be around the corner so learning to adapt to the seasons and go with the flow has been key.  This notion of impermanence that I talk so often about helps me ride these waves and know that nothing lasts so enjoy the peaks and know the troughs too will come and go.
 
Some other thoughts as I reflect on 10 years in business:

• Not everyone will like you – some will troll you.  It always says more about them than it does you.

• Start small, the small steps compound and you can’t do everything at once (I tried).

• Do what you love, it shows, it makes you more magnetic and helps make an impact on the world.

• Turning up and sharing my work has been the best form of business development.  I believe if we just do great work the work will keep coming and word of mouth is often the best form of advertising. 

• Be generous, help others and the law of karma suggests it’ll come back to you, it makes you feel good too.  I believe those of us in a position of privilege with our business have a responsibility to use that to help others.

There’s so much more we could reflect on here.  It’s why I’ve decided to share what I’ve learned with others and launch a new part of my business after 10 years to help others do what I have.  Those who want to write books, take the stage and coach others.  Those who have a message to share with the world and want to make an impact with the things they’re passionate about.
 
Contact me for mentoring and learn to build your business as I’ve done over this decade.  And a massive thank you to all those who’ve been on this journey with me.  Here’s to the next decade!

I'm of an age

I’m of an age now where….

I need glasses on my face but I have so much more clarity in my heart.

I no longer get asked for ID but I do get asked for advice.

I know what I want and I’m ok if it’s different to what people think I should want.

I’m comfortable in my own skin, despite it looking different now than it used to.

I’m of an age where I’m done with the shoulds and comparing to others, my life is now about how it feels not how it looks.

Where I can be who I want despite living in a society that tells me I should be different.

That I’m grateful for everything I have because I’ve known what it’s like not to have it.

That I can see ageing as a privilege because I’ve seen so many others not afforded that privilege.

I’m of an age where I watch the birds in the garden as if they were an absorbing Netflix show.

Where I’m happy having less despite living in a world that tells me I should always be wanting more.

Where I guard my energy more closely now it’s a finite resource.

That I worry less about the hairs on my legs because I’ve got them growing out of my chin.

I’m of an age where the prospect of being in bed by 10pm is more exciting than any party.

Where my hair sprouts new strands of grey each day, I call them my wisdom flecks.

Where the laughter lines on my face remind me of a life well lived.

That my contentment and happiness comes from my inner world, not the things I have or achieve.

I’m of an age where I know more than I’ve ever done before and also know that I don’t know everything and never will and this allows me to be comfortable making mistakes. 

To understand that whilst I’m capable of brilliance I won’t always be brilliant so to expect peaks and troughs. 

To know that we can all be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.

I’m of an age where each year older I become the more I feel I have to give, despite living in a society that tells me, as a woman, I’m reaching my best before date.

That I continue to want to grow and develop and see this as the beginning of the rest of my life not the transition into midlife.

Where I’m more comfortable in my own company and view moments of solitude as a luxury.

I’m of an age where I understand my cycles and natural rhythms and choose to move with them not fight against them.

That I become more aware and grateful for my fitness and health as my body changes.

That I eat the things I enjoy because health is measured in more than kilos.

That I know compassion must also extend to ourselves.

I’m of an age where I don’t wear make up despite being told by the media, as a woman, I must cover every imperfection before presenting my face to the world.

That I never feel lonely when I’m alone because I’ve learned to love the person I am.

That when I eat vegetables I’ve grown in my garden and feel the greatest sense of accomplishment.

I’m of an age where I can be wrong and people won’t love me less, or that I can be wrong and it’s not proof I’m not good enough; it’s proof I’m human.

Where I understand that there’s more kindness in the world than we realise, it just doesn’t make the news.

That I’m aware of the impermanence of life and how everything comes and goes, to accept the ability to love alongside the ability to let go.

I’m of an age where the scars I bear are trophies of the tough times I’ve overcome and the lessons I’ve learned.

That I understand that quiet says so much and silence can have the loudest impact.

That I can finally be who I am and know that’s enough despite being in a world where I’m constantly told I need to be more or better or to conform to the norm.

I’m of an age where my life is only just half begun, it’s not half done.

6 pieces of wisdom from Liz Gilbert that changed my life

When we pursue our dreams and grow into our potential there’s usually someone who’s done it before us, someone we can look to and aspire to be, whose footsteps we want to follow in. Elizabeth Gilbert has been that for me. Ahead of her trip to Auckland and my event for a small group of women built around that visit, here’s 6 pieces of her advice that changed my life.

Creativity asks us to enter the uncertain so it makes sense it comes with fear.  Any risk we take, especially when it’s linked to something important like our dreams or life’s work comes with the need to get out of our comfort zone, face risks and deal with the uncertain outcome.
 
What if I fail?
What if I get it wrong?
What if people laugh at me?
What if I’m not good enough?
Everyone else has done it better
How do I know I can make this work?
 
All the things I doubted when I set out in business for myself, wrote my first book, started to post on social media about things that inspired me.  Turns out, that inspired others too and the rest is history.  Now it’s your turn.  That fear will always come with the risk though and the creativity that is involved in following your dreams.  In the words of Liz Gilbert – it’s not something to be ashamed of but to be dealt with. 

It took me 30 years to find my strange jewels and even longer to find the courage to share them with the world.  Liz Gilbert was one of the women who inspired me to do so.  We all have a jewel within us but many of us never get to share it.  We’re too busy, or life’s too short, or we’re just too scared or it’s simply buried so deep we assume it’s not there.  What’s your jewel and how might it help the world?  How many others will lose out if your jewel remains buried?  Since going on this journey myself my life has improved ten fold, my career too and the thousands of people I’ve been fortunate enough to work alongside. 

What’s your gift and how will you share it?  It’s often easier to leave it buried, to play small and not face the fear of playing big.  I played small for years, it was easier.  Not rewarding, but it meant I didn’t have to get out of my comfort zone, be noticed or take any risks.  I was going through the motions of life trying my best to ignore this calling because it felt hard and required the courage I didn’t feel like I had.  Life could have remained small but when we get brave and take a risk, get out of our comfort zone and share our magic with the world life becomes bigger, it becomes bigger for those we help in the process too. Love the advice in this space from Liz Gilbert.  Does your life feel smaller than you want it to be right now?

One of my biggest realisations on this journey has always been this.  If you be yourself the right people will love you.  I used to think I had to be more clever, more perfect, more original and finally I realised, I just have to be myself.  This was revolutionary on my journey which has always been support by the wisdom of Liz Gilbert’s advice.

It’s not easy though and so many what ifs plague our minds.  It’s all been done before, everyone else does it better, who I am, what if I fail?  All doubts I had before I began.  I love this reminder from Liz Gilbert who I’ll be taking a small group of women to see in February.  Women who want to begin and will begin from where they are.  To be fair it’s where we all start from and how can we start from anywhere else.  I love the adage that no-one knows what they’re doing until they’re doing it and this journey is one massive learning curve.  You don’t need to be clear on everything or have all the pieces in place or have the confidence to know you can do it – no-one ever does at the start.  This stuff often comes as you begin.  So begin now, with what you have, from where you are – that’s what I did and Elizabeth Gilbert too before me.

When we do begin we’re likely to encounter fear though, this can often be why we don’t begin in the first place!  Fear is inevitable if you get out of your comfort zone enough and it comes with growth and development.  Yet it can also be what stops us, what keeps us in the grind of the familiar.  It’s a safety strategy but it means so many of our dreams remain just that, dreams.  What have you been too scared to do up until now?  How might you be able to take fear along on this journey and not let it stop you this year?  I love Liz Gilberts frame on this and something that has helped me navigate the inevitable fear of getting out of my own way.
The fear of failure
The fear of what people think
The fear of not being good enough
The fear of putting yourself out there in the public eye
The fear of sharing your story and work the matters with the world
 
On the other side of that fear is a life of fulfilment, meaning and purpose, an impact on the world.  It’s always with us on the journey but never needs to be in the driving seat.

I’ll be taking a small group to see Liz Gilbert live in February and workshop with you the following day how to navigate this fear to bring your dreams to life.  Why not join me.

The Calmony Manifesto: A Call to Reconnect

The Calmony Manifesto: A call to Reconnect
In a world moving faster than we’re built for, we’ve lost touch with what it means to be human. We’ve become human doings, chasing more, burning out, and disconnecting from what truly matters.

We’re living in a way that’s out of sync with who we are at our core. It’s not us that’s broken, it’s the system we’re trying to fit into.

More is not always better.  It’s time to slow down and reconnect - with ourselves, each other, and the world. Calmony is the answer: a state of inner peace, not dependent on external circumstances.

Calmony helps us live at a human scale - reconnecting to ourselves, others, and our purpose, without the need to constantly strive.

Happy humans make a better world.  Let’s return to being and thrive together.

The Calmony Manifesto: Returning to Human Being
The world is changing faster than ever. We stand at the crossroads of rapid technological advancement, shifting workplace dynamics, and a future that feels more uncertain each day. With burnout on the rise, the evolution of AI, economic instability, and global crises - from climate change to political upheaval - we find ourselves searching for something more, something deeper, something that unites us in a world that seems more divided than ever.
We’re living in systems our bodies and minds were not designed for. Chasing more, doing more, and sacrificing what truly matters in pursuit of material success has left us disconnected. We've mistaken busyness for purpose, external validation for meaning, and digital connectivity for real human connection. In the rush to live faster, we’ve forgotten how to live well.

It’s Time for a Radical Shift - From "Doing" to "Being"
We need to slow down. To create space in our lives, minds, and hearts for what truly matters. This is not about retreating from the world but about designing a way of living that honors who we are and what makes us whole. It’s about choosing calmony—the quiet, inner peace that comes from living in harmony with ourselves, our communities, and the world around us.

We choose calmony over chaos
We choose to put being back into human being, to reconnect with the essence of life.  Our fast-paced, always-on world is taking a toll on our mental health, our relationships, and our ability to simply be human. We’re more connected than ever, yet we’ve never felt more disconnected from ourselves and each other.

We reject the myth that more is always better
Instead, we cultivate space for what truly nourishes us. We are human beings, and our worth is not determined by how much we can accomplish in a day.

We embrace ancient wisdom to solve modern problems
The answers we seek are not new—they are rooted in principles that have stood the test of time. We look to ancient practices that honor the human spirit, knowing that science now confirms what we’ve always intuitively known: that connection, stillness, and simplicity are the keys to a well-lived life.

We reconnect to each other with kindness and compassion
In a world where division and intolerance grow, we choose empathy. We choose to see the humanity in one another and to stand together.

We commit to living in alignment with our values
In every moment, we ask: what matters most? Is this task, this interaction, this pursuit in line with who I am and what I believe? We make choices that honor our true selves and our unique purpose, knowing that when we do, we create a ripple effect that touches every aspect of our lives - and the world.

The Future Begins with Us
The solution isn’t complicated - it’s about simplifying, creating space, and living in alignment with what makes us whole. It’s about living on a human scale - a scale that honors who we are, what we need, and the connections that make life meaningful.

We can’t always control what’s happening around us, but we can control how we show up in the world. We can create space in our minds, hearts, and schedules for what really matters. We can choose calmony over chaos, connection over division, and purpose over busyness.  Calmony is not passive - it’s a powerful state of being that allows us to thrive in an ever-changing world. It is a call to step into our full humanity and to live from a place of authenticity, connection, and contentment.

Together, we can build a better world.
One where happy humans create lasting change.
One where we thrive, not just survive.
One where we come home to ourselves and to each other.

To go from full to fulfilled and from chaos to calmony.

The answer is already within us. It’s time to slow down, reconnect, and choose calmony.

Women in leadership

The work I love most in my schedule is always the work I do with women.  It’s not just seeing amazing women reach their potential, but the impact this has on the world in the process when more of us can own our space and share our gifts with the world.
 
We’ve come a long way, however the data is still lagging.  Whilst many organisations have made an effort to get more women and under-represented groups around leadership tables, they’re not always supported when they get there.  The environment you step into as the only woman or other minority, can make the job so much harder.
 
I’m big on fixing the system first and getting our leaders (who have the influence and the majority of whom are still male) to do their part in this mahi.  In the meantime though, it’s essential we support our women and under-represented groups to thrive.  It’s not good enough just to have diversity in these roles, we need to ensure we retain people in them and that they can feel like they belong.  Otherwise they will not be able to bring their best and may end up leaving altogether.
 
Women still face stronger headwinds at work.  Often shouldering more of the mental load at home as well as being more likely to get talked over, mistaken for someone more junior or have their ideas taken by other teams’ members.  It’s no wonder we experience things like imposter syndrome and burnout at higher rates than our male counterparts.
 
It’s for these reasons my Women in Leadership programme PowHer exists.  It helps women and under-represented groups own their space, lead with confidence and navigate systems that contain these headwinds and are still different because of how they look and sound.  To leverage the power we have as leaders and show up fully human, as ourselves and with confidence to leverage our unique skillset and the experience we bring.
 
It’s been my experience doing this work over the last decade that so often women feel the need to change something about themselves to fit in.  To be more masculine to succeed as a leader.  They doubt themselves and second guess their ideas resulting in holding back innovation and creativity.  They don’t always feel they have permission to challenge those in positions of power, even when that challenge might be best for the business.  This isn’t due to the fault of these women or their skillset, it’s a product of the society they’ve grown up in and centuries of baggage we carry about a woman’s role, expectations and knowing our place.  It hinders our progress and mean we can’t bring our whole selves to work and allow the organisation to benefit from that increased impact.
 
It’s my hope one day that we don’t need to talk about gender or other intersectionalities when we talk leadership, but for now we know that leadership is different if you identify as a woman or non-binary.  It’s for this reason we need a different approach.  A space to share our experience and learn how to navigate some of these challenges that come with leadership, purely because of how we were born and the world we were born into.
 
We don’t need to qualify the business case behind this, we’ve known it for years, but we also now know that women are making the majority of purchasing decisions, increasing in wealth and influence.  Your client base is no doubt full of women, as is your community.  If women are not represented equally on your leadership team, you’re missing out on a massive opportunity to better understand and relate to your customers, and we know the impact that has on the bottom line.

I love working in house with organisations to codesign this programme to make an impact and have really enjoyed doing so this year with Foodstuffs, Hato Hone St John and Trade Me.  If you’d like to join these amazing organisations in this mahi, let’s chat about what might work for your organisation.

Reflect on how far you have come

On a recent family holiday to Rarotonga, someone had the crazy idea that we should enter the round Rarotonga road race. 31km run or walk. We could train and do it together they said! So we did. For me it marked a year post knee surgery and seemed like a good goal to aim for during my rehab, and a celebration of my recovery and what my knees can now do that they struggled to before. So we trained and we stood at the start line at 5.30am with everyone else in the pitch darkness – and then off we went. Not quite as quickly as everyone else, in fact within the first kilometre we couldn’t actually see anyone else, even the other walkers! We brought up the rear for the entire race. Even having our own police escort so we could be, I quote, under observation. At one point, as I sat at a bus stop plastering my blisters and eating my protein bar, the passing police escort said to me “are you still in the race or have you finished?”

I came last. Well joint last with a family member. Why do I share this story and its success, or lack of? What did it teach me?

You see we’d all won by the time we got to the start line. Regardless of the result, we were not there for a PB, we were there because we trained and wanted to be fitter. We were there because a year before, none of us could have been. It’s helped me reflect on the success in failure. What others see as failure or not worth celebrating, can actually be a massive achievement for others. We never know the size of the mountains others are climbing and so often we’re busy looking at the summits of others, not the kilometres we’ve already climbed.

It's easy in our pursuit of more and better and chasing down our goals to forget about the successes that occur along the way, the wins we have before the finish line, the progress markers that show our successes compounding as we walk.

For someone who has always been quite fit and a sporting competitor, it’s been an adjustment for me as I age and contend with lasting injuries to adapt to my new normal and make peace with what I’m capable of these days health-wise. To readjust my expectations and be comfortable in doing my best and knowing it’s good enough but will never be what it was or what others may be capable of doing.

So I’m not a loser because I was last, I’m a winner because I finished and given where I’m at, this is a massive achievement. Even if I did get beaten by our friend and her 74 year old blind mother!

So the next time you’re worrying about coming last (or whatever your life equivalent of this currently is), turn back and see how far you’ve come. Reflect on the wins along the way and the successes that exist inside the thing you’re currently thinking is a failure or not good enough. Know that we change and our expectations need to change to – what’s your best on any given day is always enough.

Crossing the finish line (last) was a success in itself, we were there just to finish, not to win, not to get a personal best. The time really didn’t matter, even if it was 6 hours and 20 minutes – just 40 minutes shy of them closing the race and marking us as ‘did not finish’!

The meaning of connection this Mental Health Awareness Week: how you can reconnect to what matters

This #mhaw2024 we’re talking about connection.  An interesting topic that means so much to me and forms a chapter of my brand new book, out next month.  We’re more connected than ever before online and yet also increasing lonely and unfulfilled.  We’ve lost real connection in this world of hyper connectivity. 
 
The connection we need for a better state of being comes in many forms.  Connection to ourselves (who we are and what’s important), connection to each other (kindness and compassion) and connection to the present moment.  Our loss of connection to nature is contributing to the climate crisis and a fundamental part of our wellness: green therapy is now prescribed by some doctors!  There’s also the connection to something bigger, our sense of meaning and purpose that so many of us struggle to find in our work, leading to low employee satisfaction and engagement across the globe. 
 
In the absence of connection, we feel lost.  Like an untethered boat, we drift.  In a world in which we are more connected than ever, we are also more disconnected, and more lonely.  Nearly one in four people worldwide, which translates into more than a billion people, feel very or fairly lonely, according to a Meta-Gallup survey of people more than 140 countries.  That study showed that 24% of people aged 15 and older self-reported feeling very or fairly lonely. Young adults ages 19 to 29 had the highest rates, at 27%. 

We’re not lonely because we’re alone; we’re lonely because we’re disconnected.  Connection means many things to me, not just a connection to each other socially but a connection to ourselves, to know who we are at our essence and also connect to something bigger than ourselves to bring about meaning and purpose.  We often overlook the importance of connection to nature and our present moment too – both fundamental to our health and happiness.

We’re so connected to our virtual worlds and yet we’re so disconnected from ourselves, from each other, from the present and from a sense of deeper meaning.  In a world of super connectivity, we’re starving for real connection, and this is contributing to the loneliness epidemic. 

Ever since I trained with Buddhist monks and nuns, I’ve been aware there we all have an ability to cultivate this connection within.  It’s a place inside yourself where you can go when times get tough or when you need a break: to recentre, to gain perspective.  It's a place that always brings calm and peace.  When we do this, we are reconnecting with ourselves.

As humans, we’re very good at wanting to be anywhere other than where we are.  What we often overlook is that that place exists within us.  It is accessible anytime – we just need to cultivate it.

We need to get still, get comfortable not ‘doing’, and reduce our busyness to find moments of pause in our lives; to still our minds.  We need to listen to what’s really going on within: the stuff that’s easier to numb or ignore with our constant doing.

Get still, find your centre and be with your breath, in the moment.  That’s all it takes.  We all have the ability to reconnect, we’ve just forgotten it amid the busyness of life.  This is the one reason I can stay calm in the face of chaos and remain optimistic about the future.  It has helped me overcome the tough times along the way. 

It’s a topic close to my heart and a chapter of my new book so one I wanted to share with you ahead of its launch given that this week in MHAW and we’re talking about connection!

How might you disconnect to reconnect this MHAW week?

Get your copy of my brand new book or join me on tour next month and let’s connect in person.

Leading with humanity to lead into tomorrow

In the age of AI, one of the things that’s emerging is the uniqueness and importance of our human-ness.  The human skills we prioritise in great leadership, the same skills that build inclusive cultures and adapt to change and navigate uncertainty.  One of the things that not only sets us apart but will make the difference for our business success is this human-ness in the way we lead. 

Embracing our emotional intelligence, remaining curious, leading authentically and remaining calm amid the chaos.  These are the skills of calm, confidence capable leaders and these are the people to lead us into tomorrow.  Leading with humanity is the learning edge for leaders to embrace into the next year and beyond, and it’s what I love to teach.

Now more than ever our businesses will look to the capability of their leaders to not just lead through these challenging times and navigate the uncertain future, but also to bring everyone else along the journey.  Especially in a fiscal environment where many are tasked with doing more with less.

The top challenges organisations are grappling with, according to the research, include:

• Humanising leadership in the digital age

• Managing change and uncertainty

• Forming connection and collaboration in a hybrid working environment

• Budget cuts and changing structures

The challenges (and opportunities) hybrid working has presented continue and in the age of AI, human skills have become more critical.  In an environment of change, we'll need to adapt and evolve and in an uncertain economic environment, we'll be expected to be more careful with how we allocate spend.

If we’re to navigate these challenges, much of our success will be determined by our focus of these three priority areas:

• Building a diverse and inclusive culture

• Motivating and engaging the workforce

• Building leadership capability – particularly the humanity and people skills that supports the others two points!

As the world of business keeps changing at a breakneck pace, one thing remains constant: leadership development is as vital as ever.  In fact, it’s more essential than ever before to stay ahead of the curve and develop the skills necessary to lead and inspire in an age of rapid technological advancements, shifting priorities, an unpredictable economy, and significant social change. 

These are the human skills of leadership, our vertical growth, the stuff that sets us apart from robots and make the difference as we lead people through change and uncertainty.

With popular half-day leadership development workshops, and one-hour information sessions perfect to incorporate into an existing hui, I’ve been supporting organisations this year to build inclusive leaders, build the human capability of their organisations in this age of AI, and to develop leaders who lead with humanity.

Let’s chat about your plans for 2025 and setting your leadership team up for success as we lead into tomorrow together.

What we learn from the Māori concept of rāhui

I’m fascinated by the Māori concept of rāhui.  Especially in terms of our environment.  Most indigenous cultures live alongside their environment and believe we’re deeply connected to it.  It is us and we are it rather than it being something we ‘use’ and take from in ways that simply are not sustainable.

If we all adopted this concept and took a break from or restricted access to our most precious resources to allow those resources to recover, we may not be in the climate crisis we are today.  Rāhui goes much further than that though.  As well as being an act of conservation in the spirit of kaitiakitanga, it is also something that is sacred.  A time to respect and not visit a certain area for tapu reasons.

So we restrict use and access out of respect and for conservation – I reckon the same could be said for us, our personal resources and our work when I think of our energy and the prevalence of burnout.  Rāhui may be a concept unique to Māori that we can learn from here too.

You know I talk a lot about sustainability of ourselves as a resource, and I’m thinking about the Māori concept of rāhui today in respect of ourselves and what we might learn.  Most of us only take a break from our work over Christmas or summer, and then if you’re a woman that is not always a break if you’re the one who buys all the gifts, cooks all the meals and arranges all the social and whānau gatherings!  Even in times of burnout or extreme sickness, we struggle to stop and impose a restriction on the usual comings and goings of our life.  I think we need to.

It’s something I’ve been forced to consider this year due to ongoing health issues.  As I contemplate my own kind of restriction to preserve my own resources, I worry how I’ll fill the space that my work so often (and rewardingly) does for me.  I worry I will not be as valuable to the world if I’m not busy.  That my business may suffer if I’m not there in it all the time and that there’s things I’ll need to stop doing in order to make this possible, when my natural inclination is to say yes to everything.

Some of this may ring true for you too.  We’re conditioned to always keep going.  To continually take from our resources until there’s nothing left to give.  We live in a world where we’re rewarded for our contribution, and busyness is worn like a badge of honour.  Our self-worth and value is often placed upon the amount of things we can do.  We’re uncomfortable stopping, saying no and stepping back.  And yet as Māori show us through rāhui, it’s imperative for the resources to regenerate that we give them this space and restrict use to enable conservation and continued growth.

It is for this reason we’ve got just a couple of dates left in the calendar for September and October before I embark on sabbatical November-January.  If you were thinking of working with me this year, let’s chat.

Whilst it’s a time of nervous trepidation for me, as with all life experiences, I’m looking forward to seeing what I gain and what it’ll teach me, and how that impacts how I can show up for you in 2025.

Thanks to my wonderful team, the social media, blogs and podcast will continue to tick over so whilst I’ll be gone, it won’t feel like it, and I’m confident this will mean I come back better!

Choose to rest before you're forced to stop

I’m back from a fabulous trip across Australia on an outback adventure with my wife, and also to attend the Women in Sport Summit on the Gold Coast.  It was a great way to combine business and leisure, and get some sun at the same time.  Such a vast country and such extremes in the desert, it really was a change of scenery and an adventure.

It was on this recent holiday I also got sick; it’s often the case when we stop and rest, especially in winter with so many bugs around.  This coincided with the retreat part of my holiday at one of Australia’s leading wellness spas.  It was one of the worst flus I can remember having, and really knocked me over.  I was gutted not to be able to join in and enjoy all of what the retreat had to offer, barely leaving the room, but it certainly made me rest.

It's one of Australia’s leading lifestyle and wellness destinations and a place I’d been wanting to return to since before covid, and yet this visit didn’t turn out how I’d planned.

Usually I’d have been up at sunrise to do the qi gong class, going on the pre breakfast bushwalk and then trying to fit in a swim or gym before my scheduled massage.  As an over-achiever, I treat retreat schedules a bit like to do lists – I’m sure this resonates with some of you too!  Being sick forced me to slow down.  It made me rest because I couldn’t do anything else.

I was able to sit on the deck and watch the kangaroos bounce around the lawn.  I was able to feel the sun on my face and I was also able to listen to the amazing sounds of the dawn chorus, complete with a cacophony of kookaburras.  It turns out this is what I needed.  Not the classes and gym time or treatments and dinners.  Sometimes sickness is our body’s way of getting what it needs by making us unable to do anything else – despite our best efforts and disappointment!

It reminded me of a past participant on one of my retreats who was really frustrated with herself because she fell asleep on the Saturday afternoon and missed the workshop which - in her words - was the reason she came.  My response was ‘good, you obviously, needed the sleep more’.  Sometimes our bodies have a way of making us listen and forcing us to rest when we haven’t been hearing the more subtle signs prior.  I’m also reminded of the mantra: we may not get what we want, but sometimes we get what we need instead.

As I recover, I’m reflecting on my lessons learned and that sometimes if we don’t rest, we’re forced to, and we can either choose to rest our own way, or be made to rest when we get sick.  It costs us time either way.

I’m also mindful that even for those of us with good balance, sometimes our standard wellness plans and general sustainability acts – like sleep, food, exercise, meditation and yoga etc are all good, but can mask some of the underlaying overwork symptoms and times we might need more deeper rest.  I’m good at looking after myself and managing my energy, but I do find (especially in winter) that my usual wellness plan isn’t always enough.  It’s like we need periods of deep rest amid all the fast charge equivalent actions we take to keep ourselves sustainable.

It's made me pause to find some more deep rest time in the remainder of this year, and consider what additional sustainability measures I might need to take, and hopefully it can be a good reminder for you too.

It's why I love retreats, and we’ll be running my popular rest and recharge weekend retreat in Nelson again in April next year.  This usually sells out so if you’re keen to join us and make space for some deep rest, the early bird sale is on now for a limited time.  With guests often returning and already booking their rooms for 2025, get your spot before places sell out.

Inspiring action: what’s the difference?

I’m fortunate that my career has spanned a number of methods or vehicles for teaching and sharing wisdom.  I’m a writer and a speaker, I deliver training workshops and facilitate retreats.  Each is a different art, and arts I’ve spent years mastering and developing.  I’ve learned from some of the best and whilst everything I tech comes back to the same IP, I’ve noticed there’s a difference in how these various modes impact the audience.

One of the questions I'm often asked is: what's the difference between a keynote and a workshop, apart from the length of time? It's been a really interesting journey for me, particularly being from a leadership development background. During my career in HR, I did a lot of leadership development, I did a lot of training and development, and I learnt a lot about learning and development.

Then I started to write books and the link between these learning modes really became apparent through the work I do now based on those books.  I'm an author before I was anything else, and I'm an introvert as well, so it worked quite well for me to sit by myself and create and write. I love it. Then I started to get asked to speak about the content of those books. I would take stages, often in front of hundreds, sometimes thousands of people. Initially it filled me with fear, as I think public speaking does with most of us.  But the more I did it, the easier it got, and I learned so much about the art of public speaking.

What was really interesting for me is it brought the text in the book to life, and it was also a way of getting instant feedback. It is much quicker to get the message across in an hour long keynote to an audience of hundreds, than it is to ship a hundred books out and wait for people to have the time to read them!

Being out there, connecting with individuals in conference rooms and at events and hearing your feedback firsthand really helped. Not just helped me know that this was working and the books were making an impact, but it gave me ideas for future books as well. So that connection became such a fundamental part of what I do.

But the keynote is only an hour.  It's supposed to be quick, impactful, inspirational - and it is. The keynote gets us motivated. The workshop is the next step and this is how this has evolved. People come along to the keynote, they get inspired, they get motivated, they want to take action. But then of course, you've got to learn all the strategies to put into action, and that's where the workshops come into play.

I love getting together smaller groups of people and digging into the practical. Like when we do these workshops in-house, for organisations to build on some of those inspirational keynotes.  The workshops allow us to not just listen to someone like me, whoever's at the front of the room, but share experiences with each other to have a deeper kōrero. To actually apply this specifically to our individual circumstances, to learn some of the practical tools, strategies and techniques, and to really use the motivation and inspiration we get from something like a keynote to delve a bit deeper.

It's why I'll offer both when I'm at a conference or event. Often I'll be on the main stage and then whilst I'm there working with the conference or event organisers, I'll do a workshop at the same time because it really helps to build on that inspiration and motivation.

You’ll all remember a time you’ve been motivated by someone’s words.  We've all seen someone on stage that said something and it's like they're talking directly to us. It's like they're in our heads and it motivates us, it inspires us and we go away from that going, ‘yes, I'm going to make a difference’.

But we then need to get that practical knowhow and that deep understanding of how I’m going to use this to make a difference. Now I've got the fire to be called to action, what am I going to do to make that action happen? That's really where workshops help support the practical implementation of what you're hearing in a keynote.

A recent programme I ran for a supermarket co-operative gave me feedback from of a workshop attendee.  We did a lead with confidence workshop, webinar and coaching package for women in the organisation.  On conclusion, attendees graduate and share their experiences.  One leader mentioned: the attendee in question from the bakery department of the store would not be able to attend the graduation because the course had been too successful for her.  She’d gained the confidence to leave and start her own bakery!

This story was told with pride in an organisation who supports the development of its staff and understands that sometimes they have to leave to come back better with the experience they’ve gained.

Speaking inspires, but workshops is where the rubber hits the road and where we can drill down into the practical strategies to bring the theory to life.  To take the inspiration and turn it into action and meaningful change for those in the room.

Get in touch to find out the workshops available in house for your organisation or event.

Being alive: Living before we die

Over a weekend recently, I went to a course on, wait for it – death!  Not the most enjoyable way to spend a weekend you’d think and not at the top of most people’s list, but it was really interesting which has led to this piece on my take-aways and how it can help us.  Those who follow me know I’ve spent years studying Buddhist practices and philosophies on life and this one intrigued me seeing end of life events unfold among those close to me this year.

You see one thing we all know for sure is that we will die; there’s no greater certainty and we’ve no idea when really.  Because of this, it’s so important we live whilst we’re alive.  Some of us might get it pointed out in advance if we’re sick or receive a terminal diagnosis, but we’re all on the same conveyor belt whether we’re aware or not.

When we think about death, it impacts how we live and I think it does this positively.  When people are faced with the end of their life they think differently.  We’re forced to bring the important stuff to the surface and make it our focus.  What if we could live more of our life like this all the time, without needing the threat of a near death experience to compel us to reprioritise?

In the face of a near death experience, all of a sudden we’ve got bucket lists and want to do the things that matter.  Shouldn’t we be doing this all the time though?  What if we don’t get forewarned about our death, what if it happens suddenly and we have not had the warning to get everything done and make it matter?

How can this concept of thinking about death help us though rather than send us into a state of panic or depression?  We never think about death in our western world.  We live like we’ll be around forever and then when it comes (as it always does) we’re completely unprepared, scared and desperately hanging on to life, wishing we’d actually lived it.

Here’s the thing from a Buddhist perspective.  If we consider that we will die one day (fact), it changes the way we live, it changes our perspective.  If we thought we may die today, our interactions become different with people, we do the things that matter, we treat each other with kindness and the little things stop bothering us.

It doesn’t mean we take risks or live as if there’s no consequences like we could if today was our last, but just the perspective that if today could be our last, we’d allow what’s important to be more of a focus.  It’d put our worries into perspective so we’d only worry about big stuff and we’d not get caught up in the things that simply don’t matter – comparison to others, collecting more material things, first world problems etc.

For anyone who’s been close to death, lost someone dear or been in the midst of an earthquake or natural disaster, this may have become clear.  It doesn’t need to take those things though for us to have the perspective and awareness and to live each day with meaning and appreciate more of what we have.  The scary thing is that each day we live is a day closer to our death.

Yet we live like we’ll be here forever. The Buddhist monk this weekend likens it to staying in a posh hotel.  We know we’re only there for short time, we make the most of the fine white sheets, the fluffy bath robe and free shampoos.  We enjoy it, appreciate it but we don’t believe we’ll take any of it with us or cry when we leave because we knew right from the start that we’d be checking out.

When we think about our death we stop chasing after the things that we can’t take with us – money, status, material possessions and we focus on the things that make life meaningful.  We stop putting things off; “I’ll be happy when I get… (the job, house, car, partner)”.  We learn to appreciate what we have and live in the moment rather than postponing our happiness to a point in the future.

When faced with death we stop worrying about getting it all perfect – our career, our house, the way we look.  We tend to not want to think about death, it’s a morbid subject and we certainly don’t want to think about the death of loved ones – we hope they’ll live forever.

Let’s face it though; it’s only when something ends we talk about how much we enjoyed it, miss it and how lovely it or they were.  This is true of holidays, leaving speeches, and eulogies at funerals, but why wait until then?  If, like Buddhists, this was our every day and not just in the face of something ending, we’d learn to appreciate what we have, we’d spend our time doing the things that matter with those we love, and we’d tell people what they meant to us and what we appreciate about them.

Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, talks of this in her book Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.  What is it that people regret most looking back on life?  That they’d worked less, appreciated more and lived more true to themselves.

And when our final day comes, because we don’t always get the warning, we’ll have fewer regrets and we’ll have lived each day like we’d have wanted.

This is key to putting the being back into human being and ensuring we’re being alive before we die.