I had the privilege of seeing Jacinda Ardern at the Auckland Writers' Festival this year. Someone I’ve always admired. A leader I think the world needs more of and someone who can still see hope and optimism for the future despite the current climate across the world. She spoke eloquently - one of her real strengths - and she also spoke about vulnerability – again one of her real strengths. However, there’s something I disagreed with though in her kōrero on imposter syndrome.
A few times recently she’s referred to this as a possible strength not a weakness and maybe Imposter Syndrome is a good thing? I get the point, harnessing vulnerabilities as strengths not weaknesses in a way that promotes humility. One of her angles is that if we’re all trying a bit harder and driven to do better (as Imposterism drives us to) it’s a good thing.
I get the sentiment, but what if we can have all those things without the crippling self-doubt of Imposter Syndrome to drive them? I work with many leaders who are hamstrung by this self-doubt; it impacts the opportunities they miss, their mental health and their relationships. They also have huge strengths: drive, ambition and humility. That doesn’t change either when they rid themselves of Imposter Syndrome.
This is where we need to separate the condition that Imposterism is, and the character traits we often see in those with it. What if we can be driven to succeed and prove ourselves in a healthy way? Without our inner critic following us around trying to convince us we’re not good enough or that we don’t deserve the success we’re experiencing? Without the mental health challenges or the second guessing, overthinking and constant comparison.
The trouble with Imposter Syndrome and why it’s never a good thing is it’s fear-based, it’s driven from a negative. It leads to us overworking in a bid to prove ourselves when we were already doing a good job without the additional pressure. It leads to burnout – nothing is ever good enough so I keep pushing over my limits to prove myself. It also leads to us being last on our own list, not having boundaries and needing to say yes so we’re not ‘found out’. None of this is a recipe for success or wellbeing.
But I agree drive, ambition and humility certainly is. The thing is, we can have those things without having Imposter Syndrome and this is the healthy balance between the two extremes.
It also implies a lack of confidence and humility is the same, it’s not (Adam Grant). We can be confident and humble – in fact we should. Too often we see confidence as arrogance (there’s a lot on display across the world right now). I love Adam Grant's definition of this sweet spot. The confidence to know what you’re good at without the arrogance that makes you an ass about it.
So yes to drive and ambition and kindness and humility, but not from a place of fear and lacking (I’m not good enough); from a place of quiet confidence and self awareness that isn’t driven by ego but linked to a bigger purpose and comes from a grounded place of balance.
Humility and drive can also come from the positive – I’m driven to help others, I want to do good in the world, I want to make my family proud and provide for them, I want to find a better way of doing this – something Jacinda Ardern herself epitomises.
I believe in the sentiment that what we may have been told is a weakness can actually be our biggest strength – think empathy, kindness, reflection. This comes from so often being asked to fit the mould of the majority to get ahead. It’s one of the reasons Imposterism disproportionately impacts under represented groups which isn’t surprising. If you’ve been in a world that makes you feel second best, it makes sense you feel you have something to prove. Your lived experience has been that you need to change something about yourself to fit in or that the majority seem to think you’re wrong as you’re not like them so you literally feel like an imposter.
This is why it’s a system thing if we’re looking for blame – which is why we often hear stop telling us we have Imposter Syndrome, it’s not us it’s the system. But the thing is we do have Imposter Syndrome, 70% of us according to the data and to dismiss it invalidates their experience. It also prevents us understanding this and figuring out how to navigate it for the better.
It exists, it’s not a positive and yes we can rein in the impacts to ensure we achieve our potential and we can do this whilst having healthy ambition and drive and humility.